Douglas Stamper: I have an update regarding the journal.
Heather Dunbar: What is it?
Douglas Stamper: A message from the President. [Hands the phone to Frank.]
Frank Underwood: I have only one thing to say: go fuck yourself. [Turns to the camera.] Christ, that felt good.
Francis Underwood: Linda Vasquez, Walker's chief of staff. I got her hired. She's a woman, check, a Latina, check, but more importantly, she's as tough as a two dollar steak. Check check check. When it comes to the White House, you don't just need the keys in your back pocket, you need the gatekeeper.
Viktor Petrov: And you scale back missile defense, as we agreed to, twice already.
Frank Underwood: That's when we were making an entirely different deal.
Viktor Petrov: The main difference now is that we are both standing in the desert, and you can't leave with nothing to show but sand in your shoes.
Frank Underwood: Truth be told, I never really knew my father, or what his dreams were. He was quiet, timid, almost invisible. My mother didn't think much of him, my mother's mother hated him. The man never scratched the surface of life. Maybe it's best he died so young, he wasn't doing much but taking up space. But that doesn't make for a very powerful eulogy, now does it?
Doug Stamper: Ferguson.
Frank Underwood: Too old.
Doug Stamper: Willis.
Frank Underwood: Too stupid.
Doug Stamper: Boyd.
Frank Underwood: Too queer.
Doug Stamper: [Looks up in surprise.] Really? He's married with three kids.
Frank Underwood: And wouldn't they be devastated.
Frank Underwood: As for me, I'm just the lowly house majority whip, I keep things moving in a Congress choked by pettiness and lassitude. My job is to clear the pipes and keep the sludge moving. But I won't have to be a plumber much longer. I've done my time, I've backed the right man. Give and take. Welcome to Washington.
Francis Underwood: Jim Matthews, his right honorable vice-president. Former governor of Pennsylvania. He did his duty in delivering the keystone state, bless his heart. Now they're about to put him out to pasture. But he looks happy enough, doesn't he? To some, it's simply the size of the chair.
Francis Underwood: President-elect, Garrett Walker. Do I like him? No. Do I believe in him? That's beside the point. Any politician that gets 70 million votes has tapped into something larger then himself, larger then even me, as much as I hate to admit it. Look at that winning smile, those trusting eyes. I latched onto him early on, made myself vital. After 22 years in congress, I can smell which way the wind is blowing.
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