Roman Pearce: Better hide your baby oil.
Luke Hobbs: Better hide that big-ass forehead.
Uncle Vernon: And Dudley, you will be?
Dudley Dursley: I'll be waiting to open the door.
Uncle Vernon: Excellent. And you?
Harry: I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don't exist.
Surveillance Guy: Who the fuck are you?
Dignam: I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy.
Clark Griswold: [reciting 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.] When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and...and Eddie with a man in his pajamas and a dog chain tied to his wrist and ankles. What the...?
Clerk: Do you swear on the Constitution of the United States to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Jive Man: Ain't no thing.
Defense Attorney: Would you describe, in your own words, what happened that night?
Jive Man: Check it, bleed. Bro was on! Didn't trip. But the folks was freakin', man. Hey, and the pilots were laid to the bones, Homes. So Blood hammered out and jammed jet ship. Tightened that bad sucker inside the runway like a mother. Shit.
Larry: This is so not worth $11.50 an hour.
Gimli: Certainty of death; small chance of success...what are we waiting for?
Inga: Dr. Fronkensteen! Are you all right?
Fredrick Frankenstein: MY NAME...IS FRANKENSTEIN!
Russell Casse: Hello boys! I'm baaack!
The Phantom: Softly, deftly, music shall carress you. Hear it, feel it, Secretly possess you.
Mr. Han: You've already proven everything you needed to prove. Why do you still want to fight?
Dre Parker: Because I'm still scared. No matter what happens, tonight, after I leave, I don't want to be scared anymore.
Commander Paul Eddington: Old Rock of Ages, we've got ourselves another war. A gut bustin', mother-lovin' Navy war.
Omi: It started with the wind, on a cold night, much like this. It was almost Christmas, but this Christmas was darker, less cheerful. But I still believed in Santa, in magic and miracles, and the hope that we could find joy again. But our village had given up on miracles, and on each other. They had forgotten the spirit of Christmas, the sacrifice of giving, and my family was no different. I tried to help them to believe again, but we were no longer the loving family I remembered. They too had given up. And eventually, so did I. And for the first time, I didn't wish for a miracle. I wished for them to go away. A wish I would come to regret. And that night, in the darkness of a howling blizzard... I got my wish. I knew Saint Nicholas was not coming this year. Instead, it was a much darker, more ancient spirit. The shadow of Saint Nicholas. It was... Krampus. And as he had for thousands of years, Krampus came not to reward, but to punish, not to give, but to take. He, and his helpers. I could only listen as they dragged my family into the underworld, knowing that I would be next. But Krampus did not take me that night. He left me, as a reminder of what happens when hope is lost, when belief is forgotten, and the Christmas spirit...dies.
Alpa Chino: Man I'm tired of this Koala hugging Nig...
Kirk Lazarus: [Punches Alpa.] For 400 years, that word has kept us down.
Alpa Chino: What the... ?
Kirk Lazarus: It took a whole lot of trying, just to get up that hill, now... We're in the big leagues, getting our turn to bat, as long as we live, It's you and me baby, there ain't nothi...
Alpa Chino: Man, that's the theme song to The Jeffersons, man you really need help!
Kirk Lazarus: Hey, just 'cause it's a theme song don't make it not true.
Hector: All my life I've lived by a code; and the code is simple: Honor the gods, love your woman, and defend your country. Troy is mother to us all. Fight for her!
Dominic Toretto: I used to say I live my life a quarter mile at a time and I think that's why we were brothers - because you did too. No matter where you are in this world, whether it's a quarter mile away or half way across the world. The most important thing in life will always be the people in this room, right here, right now. Salute mi familia. You'll always be with me. And you'll always be my brother.
