Jules: You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock.
Gigi: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... It's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... Just... Moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.
Jack Sparrow: Who makes all these?
Will Turner: I do. And I practice with them... Three hours a day.
Jack Sparrow: You need to get yourself a girl, mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you've already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch, are you?
Flynn Rider: They just can't get my nose right.
Esther: I think people should always try to take the bad things that happen to them in their lives, and turn them into something good. Don't you?
Bella Swan: Should I come back?
Jacob Black: I need some time, but I'll always be waiting.
Bella Swan: Until my heart stops beating.
Jacob Black: Maybe even then.
Roman Pearce: You know, I think I make a better special agent than you ever did.
Brian O'Conner: I guess that depends on how you define 'special'.
Gary King: Why don't you just get back in your rocket, and fuck off back to Legoland, you cunts!
Chuckie: Look - you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat; now, that's a fact. I'll fuckin' kill you.
Stanley Goodspeed: I'll do my best.
John Mason: Your "best"! Losers always whine about their "best"! Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
Stanley Goodspeed: Carla was the prom queen.
John Mason: Really?
[Goodpseed cocks his gun.]
Stanley Goodspeed: Yeah.
Duke: All your strength, all your power, all your love. Everything you've got. Right now!
Private Reiben: You wouldn't shoot the kraut and now you're gonna shoot me?
Sergeant Horvath: He's better than you.
Jimmy: Hey, Ted, where the hell is the corkscrew?
[Jason appears and shoves the corkscrew into Jimmy's hand]
Lt. Mauser: At this point in time, yours truly was the object of a malicious prank. Now, can anybody in here tell me how this happened? [holds up his hands to show his palms covered in hair.].
Officer Mahoney: I can, sir. And if you don't stop that, you could go blind.
Rear Admiral: The end is inevitable, Maverick. Your kind is headed for extinction.
Maverick: Maybe so, sir. But not today.
Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.
Larry: This is so not worth $11.50 an hour.
Officer Andy: We're offering ten thousand dollars to anyone who can capture them, dead or alive.
Officer Andy: Oh. Alive. They should be alive.
Fred's Dad: I should have ejaculated in your mother's anus instead the night you were conceived.
Frank Slade: I want it wall to wall with John Daniels.
Charlie Simms: Don't you mean Jack Daniels?
Frank Slade: He may be Jack to you son, but when you've known him as long as I have... That's a joke.