Best movie quotes of 1996

Happy Gilmore picture

Happy Gilmore: I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive.

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The Rock picture

Stanley Goodspeed: I'll do my best.
John Mason: Your "best"! Losers always whine about their "best"! Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
Stanley Goodspeed: Carla was the prom queen.
John Mason: Really?
[Goodpseed cocks his gun.]
Stanley Goodspeed: Yeah.

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Space Jam picture

Stan Podalak: Let me help! Let me help! I can help! I can help!
Michael Jordan: What can you do?
Stan Podalak: Well, I may not be very tall, but... I'm slow.
Sylvester: And large.
Daffy Duck: And a dork.

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Twister picture

Dusty: He's gonna rue the day he came up against The Extreme, baby. Bill, I'm talkin' imminent rueage.

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Independence Day picture

Russell Casse: Hello boys! I'm baaack!

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Scream picture

Randy: There are certain rules one must abide in order to sucuessfully survive a horror movie, rule number one, you can never have sex.
[Everyone jeers.]
Randy: Big no-no! Big no-no!
Stu: I'd be a dead man.
Randy: Rule number two, you can never drink or do drugs. [Everyone clacks their beers together.] It's the sin factor. An extension of number one. And number three, never, ever, under any circumstances say "I'll be right back." Because you won't be back.
Stu: Hey, I'm gettin' another beer, you want one?
Randy: Yeah, sure.
Stu: [Dramatically.] I'll be right back!
Randy: Yeah, you bent the rules. I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.

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Bulletproof picture

Archie Moses: This is a '70s porno. You know how I can tell? Because the guy's dick has sideburns.

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Tin Cup picture

Romeo Posar: Now THAT was a defining moment. And the definition was "shit."

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The Cable Guy picture

Sam Sweet: [911 call being played.] Oh my God! Oh my God! My twin brother has been shot! I think it was an Asian gang or something... There was this guy, he looked Asian... And he was speaking another language, I'm pretty sure it was... Asian.

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Down Periscope picture

Pascal: Jesus, Buckman! This stuff has been on the Stingray since Korea! This can expired in 1966!
Buckman: What's the matter, sir? It still tastes like cream corn.
Pascal: Except it's deviled ham.

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Bishop73
The Crow: City of Angels picture

Ashe: Do you know what they call a gathering of crows, Curve? A murder. A murder of crows. Think about it.

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Star Trek: First Contact picture

William Riker: Someone once said, "Don't try to be a great man. Just be a man, and let history make its own judgment."
Zefram Cochrane: That's rhetorical nonsense! Who said that?
William Riker: You did! Ten years from now.

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From Dusk Till Dawn picture

Carlos: What? Were they psychos, or...?
Seth Gecko: They look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits 'em. I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!

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Romeo + Juliet picture

Romeo: Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate, O anything, of nothing first create! O heavy lightness, serious vanity, Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms, Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health, Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!

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Freeway picture

Vanessa: Ho-ly shit! Well look who got beaten with the ugly stick. Bob, is that you? My God, I can't believe such an itty bitty gun could make such a big mess out of someone! You are so ugly Bob! Oh and hey I heard you have one of those poop bags where the shit comes out the side, you're just a big old shitbag aren't you Bob! I hope you think of me every time you shit in that thing, motherfucker!

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Broken Arrow picture

Vic Deakins: Would you mind not shooting at the thermonuclear weapons?

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Sleepers picture

Shakes: This is a story about friendship which runs deeper than blood.

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James and the Giant Peach picture

Centipede: I wanna escape from Spiker and Sponge.
Earthworm: Escape? To where? We'll all be squashed and swotted and swooshed.
Grasshopper: No one's going to swoosh you my dear boy, you're six feet through now.
Earthworm: Bigger target.

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Swingers picture

Trent: I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's *really* hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man.

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The Birdcage picture

Louise Keeley: Oh, what interesting china.
Louise Keeley: It looks like young men playing leap frog.

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Trainspotting picture

Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?

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Celtic Pride picture

Jimmy Flaherty: Prison won't be so bad. I can became a born-again Christian. And that'll be good. Because nobody wants a born-again Christian as their bitch.

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Bishop73
The Great White Hype picture

Mitchell Kane: Are you happy with your deal with Sultan?
Johnny Winsor: Happy? I'd sooner be turked by a syphilitic bear.
Mitchell Kane: T-turked? Turked? What is turked?
Johnny Winsor: Rectally relieved.

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Bishop73
Muppet Treasure Island picture

Rizzo: What's wrong?
Gonzo: It just feels so weird.
Rizzo: You mean that Mr. Arrow's dead?
Gonzo: Yeah, that... And my pants are filled with starfish.
Rizzo: You and your hobbies.

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The Long Kiss Goodnight picture

Samantha: You thinking what I'm thinking?
Hennessey: I hope not, coz I'm thinking about how much my balls hurt.

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The_Iceman Premium member
Multiplicity picture

Doug #2: [seeing Doug #1] Is that it?
Dr. Leeds: No. I'm afraid you're it.
Doug #2: What do you mean? I can't be it. You mean, you think I'm the clone?
Dr. Leeds: That's right.
Doug #2: I can't be the clone, I'm me. He's gotta be the clone.
Doug #1: No, see I'm, I'm me. I'm me. I'm me, right.

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Bishop73
Escape From L.A. picture

The President: Let's face it - he's dead.
Brazen: I agree.
Commander Mallory: Plissken's been dead so many times, I can't count them all. But he never stays down.

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The Nutty Professor picture

[Professor Klump struggles to fit into his chair because of his obese size, before finally getting in.]
Dean Richmond: Anything I can get for you? Juice? Coffee? Rack of lamb?

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Sgt. Bilko picture

Sgt. Bilko: Luis Clemente. This guy is smart, very smart. He has an IQ.

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Bishop73
Barb Wire picture

Barb Wire: Don't call me babe!

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