Best movie quotes of 1996
Randy: There are certain rules one must abide in order to sucuessfully survive a horror movie, rule number one, you can never have sex.
Randy: Big no-no! Big no-no!
Stu: I'd be a dead man.
Randy: Rule number two, you can never drink or do drugs. [Everyone clacks their beers together.] It's the sin factor. An extension of number one. And number three, never, ever, under any circumstances say "I'll be right back." Because you won't be back.
Stu: Hey, I'm gettin' another beer, you want one?
Randy: Yeah, sure.
Stu: [Dramatically.] I'll be right back!
Randy: Yeah, you bent the rules. I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.
Vanessa: Ho-ly shit! Well look who got beaten with the ugly stick. Bob, is that you? My God, I can't believe such an itty bitty gun could make such a big mess out of someone! You are so ugly Bob! Oh and hey I heard you have one of those poop bags where the shit comes out the side, you're just a big old shitbag aren't you Bob! I hope you think of me every time you shit in that thing, motherfucker!
Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?
Doug #2: [seeing Doug #1] Is that it?
Dr. Leeds: No. I'm afraid you're it.
Doug #2: What do you mean? I can't be it. You mean, you think I'm the clone?
Dr. Leeds: That's right.
Doug #2: I can't be the clone, I'm me. He's gotta be the clone.
Doug #1: No, see I'm, I'm me. I'm me. I'm me, right.