Michael: I like it here, it's quiet. Nobody ever bothers a librarian.
Ernest Hemingway: You love me, you just don't know it yet.
Mr. Preston: What else don't I know?
Marty Preston: What?
Mr. Preston: You hidin' Judd's dog and never lettin' on. What else you keepin' from me?
Marty Preston: Nothin', Dad.
Mr. Preston: Well how do I know that's not another lie?
Marty Preston: 'Cause it's not.
Mr. Preston: Oh yeah, well your sayin' so don't make it true, not now. And that's the problem with lyin'.
John Merchant: For God's sake.
Pinhead: Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks?
Dosmo Pizzo: How did you find me?
Lee Woods: In the phone book under Washout.
Jay Leno: I may look stupid, but I'm Italian. I know how to find information.
Indiana Jones: A ladder is made of wood, right?
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: Yes.
Indiana Jones: This cage is made out of wood.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: So?
Indiana Jones: Ergo, our cage is a ladder.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: That's not what I call Aristotlian logic.
Indiana Jones: We need a ladder, father. Let's turn our cage into a ladder.
Hyena-Swine: Tell me, why you make the pain, if we are your children.
Candy Darling: Aren't you gonna run after us?
Edna, the wheelchair-bound receptionist: That's a terrible thing to say.
Candy Darling: Honey, its a terrible world.
Max Connor: I wish I had junk food from here to the sky.
Kazaam: Why not? Higher than high?
Denise Waverly: Maybe I put too much of myself into my songs.
Hank: Most of the time I just keep to myself. I think like what it would be like to be... someone else.
Howard W. Campbell Jr.: I guess the moral here is: you must be careful what you pretend to be because in the end you are who you're pretending to be.
Rat: I say! Badger.
Stanley Stupid: Be on the look out for anything suspicious.
Buster Stupid: Dad, they're putting make-up on men in there.
Stanley Stupid: Bull's eye.
Benjamin Trace: I came to save you, Job.
Job: In here, I am the savior.
John Henderson: We're in the 90s, mother. It's fancy jam time.
Berfo: I am ready to burn in the hell for this love. And you?
Dr. Michael Reynolds: Why don't you grow some pubic hair, junior.
Brandon 'Blue' Monroe: I got pubic hair, asshole. It's the one place I got hair left.
David Leary: I'm very sorry about this, sir, I can assure you it won't happen again. Will it Ben?
Ben: Who can predict the future?
David Leary: I can.