Indiana Jones: A ladder is made of wood, right?
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: Yes.
Indiana Jones: This cage is made out of wood.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: So?
Indiana Jones: Ergo, our cage is a ladder.
Prof. Henry Jones, Sr.: That's not what I call Aristotlian logic.
Indiana Jones: We need a ladder, father. Let's turn our cage into a ladder.
Indiana Jones: Hey, they were calling you Tolstoy. I think my father has some of your books. Didn't you write that eh, that really big fat one about war?
Leo Tolstoy: And peace.
Indiana Jones: No kiddin'. My father thinks you're great.
Leo Tolstoy: Your dad's an imbicile.
Indiana Jones: He's usually not wrong about this stuff. You should ask him.
Indiana Jones: You have dogs? So do I. One I mean, her name's Indiana. I haven't seen her in over a year, though. 'Cause we've been traveling so much.
Leo Tolstoy: You miss her?
Indiana Jones: Yeah, you bet I do. Can't wait to see her when we get home. Wonder if she'll still remember me.
Leo Tolstoy: Of course she will. Dogs are better than people.
Leo Tolstoy: You reeking little swine, how dare you shoot me in the ass.
Indiana Jones: I thought you were a giant weazle.
Leo Tolstoy: Do I look like a giant weazle? Is it my twitching snout? My long, hairless tail? Are all little English boys as stupid as you?
Indiana Jones: I'm not English, I'm American.
Leo Tolstoy: That explains it.
Leo Tolstoy: How dare you make me feel guilty.
Leo Tolstoy: Do not try to see God through spectacles borrowed from the church. See God through your own eyes.
