Robert McCall: There are two kinds of pain in this world. The pain that hurts, the pain that alters. Today, you get to choose.
Commander Paul Eddington: Old Rock of Ages, we've got ourselves another war. A gut bustin', mother-lovin' Navy war.
Secretary: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.
The Riddler: Riddle me this. Riddle me that. Who's afraid of the big black bat?
Inigo Montoya: Who are you?
Westley: No one of consequence.
Inigo Montoya: I must know.
Westley: Get used to disappointment.
Inigo Montoya: Okay.
Dynamo: Thought it was pretty funny out there in the zone. What's the matter now, bitch? Why aren't you laughing?
Amber: Because there's nothing funny about a dickless moron with a battery up his ass.
Hamm: Hey, do you want a S'more?
Scotty: Some more what?
Hamm: No, no. Do you want a S'more?
Scotty: I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?
Hamm: You're killing me Smalls.
Computer: This ship will self-destruct in exactly ten seconds. Counting down. Ten, nine, eight, six.
President Skroob: Six? What happened to seven?
Computer: Just kidding.
Nigel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Martin: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel: Exactly.
Martin: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Martin: I don't know.
Nigel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Martin: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel: Elevn. Exactly. One louder.
Martin: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
[Pause.]
Nigel: These go to eleven.
James Pepper: You know, there's an old saying, Miss Sally. There's no law west of Dodge and no God west of the Pecos. Right, Mr. Chisum?
John Simpson Chisum: Wrong, Mr. Pepper. Because no matter where people go, sooner or later there's the law. And sooner or later they find God's already been there.
Yoda: We are what they grow beyond.
Running Buffalo: Swell party, where's the whisky?
Billy: Eat shit and die, Ricky.
Ricky: Eat shit and live, Bill.
Messenger: What makes this woman think she can speak among men?
Queen Gorgo: Because only Spartan women give birth to real men.
Peter Quill: You're like Mary Poppins.
Yondu: Is he cool?
Peter Quill: [Pause.] Hell yeah, he's cool.
Yondu: I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!
Julia Knight: Dick me dead, and bury me pregnant.
[At Sterling, when arrows rain down on the Scots.]
Stephen: The Lord tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he's pretty sure you're fucked.
Ned Pepper: What's your intention? Do you think one on four is a dogpaw?
Rooster Cogburn: I mean to kill you in one minute, Ned. Or see you hanged in Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?
Ned Pepper: I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man!
Rooster Cogburn: Fill your hand, you son of a bitch!
Check-Out Woman: Are you here all by yourself?
Kevin McCallister: Ma'am, I'm eight years old. You think I would be here *alone*? I don't think so.