Rocket: Quill, later tonight you're going to be lying down in your bed, there's going to be something squishy in your pillowcase and you're gonna be like "what's this?" and it's gonna be because I put a turd in there!
Peter Quill: You put your turd in my bed, I shave you.
Rocket: Oh, it won't be my turd. It'll be Drax's.
Drax: [Laughs] I have famously huge turds.
Gamora: We're about to die and this is what we're discussing?
Ego: After all these years I found you. My name is Ego, and I'm your dad, Peter. I wanted to experience what it was to be human. So I created what I thought a biological being would be like.
Drax: Did you make a penis?
Peter Quill: Shut up!
Ego: Yes, Drax, I got a penis. It's not half bad, either.