Wadsworth: The game's up, Scarlet. There are no more bullets left in that gun.
Miss Scarlet: Oh come on, you don't think I'm going to fall for that old trick.
Wadsworth: It's not a trick. There was one shot at Mr. Boddy in the study, two at the chandelier, two at the lounge door, and one at the singing telegram.
Miss Scarlet: That's not six.
Wadsworth: One plus two plus two plus one.
Miss Scarlet: Uh-uh. There was only one shot that got the chandelier, so that's one plus two plus ONE plus one.
Wadsworth: Even if you were right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not one plus two plus one plus one.
Miss Scarlet: Okay, fine. One plus two plus one...SHUT UP! Point is, there's one bullet left in this gun, and guess who's going to get it!
Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...
Andrew Clark:...and an athlete...
Allison Reynolds:...and a basket case...
Claire Standish:...a princess...
John Bender:...and a criminal...
Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.
Arius: Your father appears to be cooperating. You will be back with him soon. Won't that be nice?
Jenny: Not as nearly as nice as watching him smash your face in.
The Lord of Darkness: You think you have won! What is light without dark? What are you without me? I am a part of you all. You can never defeat me. We are brothers eternal.
Louden Swain: But all I ever settled for is that we're born to live and then to die, and... we got to do it alone, each in his own way. And I guess that's why we got to love those people who deserve it like there's no tomorrow. 'Cause when you get right down to it - there isn't.
Harold Smith: Guard, protect and cherish your land, for there is no afterlife for a place that started out as Heaven. Charles M. Russell, Montana, 1926.
Anya: [reading letter.] "I am sure he hurts the poor little kitten and when I cry, he just laughs at me. Yours sincerely, Miss Sarah Foster." You were quite right to bring this to our attention, Dooley. That little boy must not get a present.
Santa Claus: No present for him? Every child should get a present.
Anya: It's time to change the rules.
Santa Claus: You'll have folks saying that Santa Claus only rewards the good little boys and girls.
Anya: Isn't that as it should be?
Santa Claus: Alright. Dooley, make up a list of who is naughty and nice.
Dooley: Yes, sir.
Santa Claus: And be careful. I'll be checking it twice.