Wadsworth: The game's up, Scarlet. There are no more bullets left in that gun.
Miss Scarlet: Oh come on, you don't think I'm going to fall for that old trick.
Wadsworth: It's not a trick. There was one shot at Mr. Boddy in the study, two at the chandelier, two at the lounge door, and one at the singing telegram.
Miss Scarlet: That's not six.
Wadsworth: One plus two plus two plus one.
Miss Scarlet: Uh-uh. There was only one shot that got the chandelier, so that's one plus two plus ONE plus one.
Wadsworth: Even if you were right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not one plus two plus one plus one.
Miss Scarlet: Okay, fine. One plus two plus one...SHUT UP! Point is, there's one bullet left in this gun, and guess who's going to get it!
Wadsworth: I can explain everything...
Cop: You don't have to.
Wadsworth: I don't?
Cop: No, there's nothing illegal about any of this.
Wadsworth: Are you sure?
Cop: Of course, this is America.
Wadsworth: I see...
Cop: It's a free country, don't you know that?
Wadsworth: I didn't know it was THAT free.
Colonel Mustard: Wadsworth, am I right in thinking that there is nobody else in this house?
Wadsworth: Um, no.
Colonel Mustard: Then there is somebody else in the house?
Wadsworth: No, sorry. I said no meaning yes.
Colonel Mustard: No meaning yes? Look, I want a straight answer, is there someone else or isn't there, yes or no?
Colonel Mustard: No, there is? Or no, there isn't?
Mr. Green: So how did you know that Colonel Mustard works in Washington? Is he one of your clients?
Colonel Mustard: Certainly not.
Mr. Green: I was asking Miss Scarlet.
Colonel Mustard: Well, you tell them it's not true.
Miss Scarlet: It's not true.
Professor Plum: Is that true?
Miss Scarlet: No, it's not true.
Mr. Green: A-ha! So it is true.
Wadsworth: A double negative.
Colonel Mustard: Double negative? You mean you have photographs?
Wadsworth: That sounds like a confession to me. In fact, a double negative has lead to proof positive. I'm afraid you gave yourself away.
Mr. Green: Who would want to kill the cook?
Miss Scarlet: Dinner wasn't that bad.
Colonel Mustard: How can you make jokes at a time like this?
Miss Scarlet: It's my defense mechanism.
Colonel Mustard: Some defense. You know, if I was the killer I would kill you next.
Miss Scarlet: Oh!?
Colonel Mustard: I said if, if. Hey, come on, there is only one admitted killer here and it is certainly not me, it is her.
Mrs. White: Me? I've admitted nothing.
Colonel Mustard: Well, you've paid the blackmail. How many husbands have you had?
Mrs. White: Mine, or other womens'?
Colonel Mustard: Yours.
Mrs. White: Five.
Colonel Mustard: Five?
Mrs. White: Yes, five. Husbands should be like kleenex; soft, strong and disposable.
Colonel Mustard: You lure men to their deaths like a spider with flies.
Mrs. White: Flies are where men are most vulnerable.
Colonel Mustard: Right.
Chief: Alright. Who done it?
[Everyone starts blaming each other.]
Mr. Green: They all did it. But if you want to know who killed Mr. Boddy, I did, in the hall, with the revolver. All right chief, take them away. I'm gonna go home and sleep with my wife.
Cop: Let me outta here! Let me outta here! You have no right to shut me in. I'll book you for false arrest and wrongful imprisonment and obstructing an officer in the course of his duty and murder.
Wadsworth: What do you mean, murder?
Cop: I just said it so you would open the door.
Wadsworth: And then the gong was struck by the cook. (01:09:20)