Captain Harris: C.O.P. What a joke. You know what C.O.P. really stands for, Proctor?
Lieutenant Proctor: No, Sir. What?
Captain Harris: Collection of piss-ants.
[Lieutenant Proctor laughs.]
Captain Harris: That's not funny, Proctor.
Lieutenant Proctor: No, sir.
Captain Harris: This C.O.P. business is a bad idea and I'm going to prove it.
Lieutenant Proctor: Yes, sir.
Zed: People just don't understand me.
Laura: Maybe if you talk slower...
Zed: No, I mean who I am. Man, now I have to worry about my diction too?
Cmndt. Eric Lassard: What is the most frustrating thing about police work?
Tackleberry: Not being able to carry hand grenades, sir.
Lt. Debbie Callahan: Separate locker rooms, sir.
Mahoney: Icky blue uniforms.