Lawanda Dumore: I hate children. They ruin everything. If I had enough power, I'd wipe them off the face of the earth.
Marlboro: My old man told me, before he left this shitty world, never chase buses or women, you'll always be left behind.
Commissioner Brumford: [On phone.] Hello? He did what? How many animals escaped? Oh, my god.
Frank: Hello, Commissioner. You're looking lovely this evening.
Commissioner Brumford: Do you realize that because of you this city is being overrun by baboons?
Frank: Well, isn't that the fault of the voters?
Mitch Robbins: Hey you know, the first time I tried to talk to you, you embarrassed me. So I teased you a little bit which maybe I shouldn't have done, so I'm sorry. And now you're sitting over there playing with your knife, trying to frighten me - which you're doing a good job. But if you're gonna kill me, get on with it; if not, shut the hell up - I'm on vacation.
Gaston: How can you read this? There's no pictures!
Belle: Well, some people use their imagination.
Topper Harley: My father used to say that not playing to win is like sleeping with your sister. Sure she's a great piece of tail, with a blouse full of goodies, but... It's just illegal. Then you get into that whole inbred thing. Kids with no teeth who do nothing but play the banjo... Eat apple sauce through a straw... Pork farm animals.
Claire: Look, Mack, I don't even know what I'm gonna say from one second to the next. The world doesn't make any sense to me any more. What's going on? There are babies lying around in the streets. There are people living in boxes. There are people ready to shoot you if you look at them. And we're getting used to it. The world is so nuts, it makes me wonder about all the choices that we've made.
Pappas: Listen you snot-nose little shit, I was takin' shrapnel in Khe Sanh when you were crappin' in your hands and rubbin' it on your face.