Tom Wingo: Let's face it, Lowenstein. Women are more devious than men. You're great at hiding things. You keep secrets. You smile when you lie. You expect a man to be a tower of strength. When he's got a few weaknesses and insecurities, what do you do? You turn around, and goddamn it, you betray him.
Susan Lowenstein: Just admit it. You love her more.
Tom Wingo: No. Not more, Lowenstein. Only longer.
Susan Lowenstein: I've gotta find me a nice Jewish boy. You guys are killing me.
Tom Wingo: You have to be patient with me, Lila. You've done a lot to piss me off.
Eddie Detreville: How's Savannah? When can I see her?
Tom Wingo: I don't know, Eddie. It's like talking to a fern.
Eddie Detreville: Well, I'm glad she's improving.
Tom Wingo: You do have a sense of humor! I was beginning to think you had it surgically removed.
Bernard Woodruff: Where do you coach, Mr. Wingo? Hillbilly country?