Jim: Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around... And there I was, face-to-face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.
Doug Roberts: I don't know. Maybe they just oughta leave it the way it is. Kind of a shrine to all the bullshit in the world.
Noah Cross: 'Course I'm respectable. I'm old. Politicians, ugly buildings, and whores all get respectable if they last long enough.
Melody: I didn't get your name.
Lightfoot: Well, I didn't give it to ya'. My name is Lightfoot.
Lightfoot: That's right.
Melody: That's a dumb name. I mean, what kind of person would name a kid that, ya' know?
Lightfoot: What's your name?
Lightfoot: "Melody"? That's not a dumb name?.. Hey, maybe we had the same father?
Bomb#20: In the beginning, there was darkness. And the darkness was without form, and void.
Boiler: What the hell is he talking about?
Bomb#20: And in addition to the darkness there was also me. And I moved upon the face of the darkness. And I saw that I was alone. Let there be light.
Athos: Leave now. Leave Paris, leave France. Get as far from that evil woman's grasp as you can.
Snow Miser's Men: He's Mister White Christmas, he's Mister Snow. He's Mr. Icicle, he's Mister 10 below.
Snow Miser: Friends call me Snow Miser, whatever I touch turns to snow in my clutch. I'm too much.
Lenny Bruce: "Fuck you." Never understood that insult, because fucking someone is actually really pleasant. If we're trying to be mean, we should say "unfuck you!"
Mrs. Hubbard: Don't you agree the man must have entered my compartment to gain access to Mr. Ratchett?
Princess Dragomiroff: I can think of no other reason, madame.
Vera Charles: However, in 'Fallen Angel' all of my clothes were done by Chanel! She said to me, 'Cheri' - she always called me Cheri - 'Cheri' she said, clothes not only make the woman, clothes make the world!' Oh she's brilliant! Sell her own mother, but brilliant. The costumes for my new show are so dazzling, that we expect complaints from the orchestra.