Bart's Friend Falls in Love - S3-E23
Milhouse: Bart, I don't want you to see me cry.
Bart: Oh, come on, I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee. You cry when they're out of chocolate milk. You cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over.
Grade School Confidential - S8-E19
Principal Skinner: The bake sale to raise money for the car wash has been canceled, due to confusion.
Jay Sherman: Tonight, we review an aging Charles Bronson in "Death Wish 9."
Charles Bronson: [Bedridden in a hospital.] I wish I was dead.
Hank Scorpio: Good afternoon, gentleman. This is Scorpio. I have the doomsday device. You have 72 hours to deliver the gold, or you face the consequences. And to prove I'm not bluffing, watch this. [Presses the button on a remote control, causing a bridge to collapse.]
U.N. Official #1: Oh my God, the 59th Street bridge.
U.N. Official #2: Maybe it just collapsed on its own.
U.N. Official #1: We can't take that chance.
U.N. Official #2: You always say that. I want to take a chance.
Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays - S15-E8
[Bart and Lisa are fighting over the television remote and land on an episode of "King of the Hill"].
Hank Hill: Bobby, I got propane in my urethra.
[Marge is trying to purchase a sports cup for Bart.]
Marge: He's going to need, uh, protection.
Clerk: Sure, one helmet coming up.
Marge: I was thinking more like protection for, down there.
Clerk: Oh, why didn't you say so? Knee pads, you got it.
Marge: [Laughs nervously] I'm talking about his personal area.
Clerk: Aha, say no more. I read you loud and clear. The old shoulder pads.
Marge: Look, I want a cup.
Clerk: Cup? Could you spell that?
Marge: C-U-P. I wanna C-U... oh my god!
Mayor Quimby: Welcome fans of America's favorite pastime: baseball?
[Bart, Milhouse and Nelson have just finished watching the film "Naked Lunch."]
Nelson: I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.
Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song - S5-E19
Principal Skinner: I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it "Billy and the Cloneasaurus."
Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding, sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done, and then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this through? [The scene jumps forward in time.] It was on the best-seller list for 18 months. Every magazine cover had it... [The scene jumps forward in time again.]...one of the most popular movies of all time, sir. What were you thinking? I mean thank you, come again.
Answer: Willy referred to an encounter he believed he had with actual aliens, while Wiggum thought he was referring to the arcade game.