Audience Member: You should run for President! It would send a message.
Michael Moore: What message? Eat out more often?
Dirk Diggler: I'm Dirk Diggler! I'm the star! It's my big dick and I say when we roll!
Toby Wong: Back to plan A.
Malik Brody: What's plan A?
Toby Wong: Don't get shot.
Malik Brody: Good plan.
Dale Putley: Do you know who I am? I am the cowboy with the Village People, Bob, if I don't get back there, it's just gonna be "Y-M-_-A!"
Rutland Coach: Hey, are you blind? They're doin' something illegal out there.
Referee: Coach, nowhere in the rule book does it say anything about jumpin' too high. Now sit down.
Mr. Baily: What was our take today?
Fizz: 43 dollars and 9 cents.
Mr. Baily: That's it? Well, I suppose I could always feed my mother cat food.
Dexter: Now probably wouldn't be the best time to ask for a raise?
Mr. Baily: No.
Michael Cromwell: I should probably take some pictures of Mimi.
Richard Kempster: I can never have enough pictures of my kids. I have like, four hundred albums. I never look at them, but they exist... it's good, you know?
Sergeant James Dunn: You live alone?
Dr. Victoria Constantini: No, I, I have a boyfriend. He's a cop.
Sergeant James Dunn: You don't have a boyfriend.
Dr. Victoria Constantini: How do you know?
Sergeant James Dunn: There's five empty buckets of Häagen-Dazs in your trash, your legs are stubbly and your hair color needs a touch-up.
John Brown: We were due in at 1.15. You're late.
Katherine: Oh my god.
Martin Bells: This just doesn't happen! This is not happening! Cray, why are you doing this? What the hell are you doing?
Inspector Thomas Cray: Stop asking for the "how" and "why" Martin.
Darcy O'Neal: I was born married, baby.
Howard Stern: Lesbians equals ratings.
Shen Yuelin: You come from a country where the infant mortality rate is higher than ours.
Jack Moore: The reason you know that is we don't delete the records.
Michele: Let's fold scarves.
Ace Levy: Don't worry, you still got me to kick around.
Lizzie: I know karate.
Lilly: Oh, well at least I was faithful.
Dan: Yeah, you were faithful like a Kennedy was faithful.