The Lady Chablis: Stop telling me what to do. I want to propose a toast. "From my top to your bottom. From your bottom to my top. From my middle to your middle. Be good John and I just might give you a little.
John Milton: So... have we been treating you well?
Kevin Lomax: Very well, thank you.
John Milton: And your wife? She had a good time?
Kevin Lomax: She sure has, it's been great. The whole thing's been great.
John Milton: That's our secret. Kill you with kindness.
Earl: What a man needs out here is a CB radio.
Jeff Taylor: Is that right?
Earl: 'Course, if you use a CB, you gotta have a handle. I'm thinking for you, "Shit For Brains."
Simon Templar: Do you know what the worst part about being you is?
Ivan Tretiak: What.
Simon Templar: Pretending to be so bad in bed.
Ivan Tretiak: You son of the bitch.
Humbert: I missed you. I missed you a lot.
Lolita: Well I haven't missed you. In fact, I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. But it doesn't matter, because you don't care about me anymore anyway.
Humbert: What makes you think I don't care about you?
Lolita: Well you haven't kissed me yet, have you?
Trevor Garfield: Has anybody read 'Animal Farm'?
Cesar: No, but I fucked a sheep once.
Rudy Baylor: Sworn in by a fool and vouched for by a scoundrel. I'm a lawyer at last.
Thomas Devoe: I don't know about these guys, but General Aleksandr Kodoroff doesn't ride around on a nuclear transportation train. It's like Ivana Trump on the subway.
Beatrice: I'll tell you something right now; I know Edgar and that wasn't Edgar. It's like something was wearing Edgar like a suit. An Edgar suit.
Harry Dalton: My 9th grade science teacher always said that if you put a frog in boiling hot water, it would jump out. But put it in cold water, and heat it up gradually, it would slowly boil to death.
Nancy: What's that Harry? Your recipe for frog soup?
Harry Dalton: It's my recipe for a disaster.
James Russell: I want some answers.
Franklin Hatchett: Hey man, me and Guy just down here, checkin' out some fly rides, and mackin' some hos and chillin'.
James Russell: Imagine that. It's like a G-Dog on a fly tip. Flossin' wit da posse. Cuttin' in da crib. what THE fuck does that mean?
Franklin Hatchett: Man, I don't wanna have to beat yo ass, but I will beat yo ass.
Poison Ivy: I must confess, the combination of heroic derring-do and anatomically-correct rubber suit puts fire in a girl's lips.
Batman: Why do all the gorgeous ones have to be homicidal maniacs? Is it me?
Moe Tilden: That cupcake makes a mess and we got a case again.
Hoover Dam Guide: Welcome everyone. I am your dam guide, Arnie. Now I'm about to take you through a fully funtional power plant, so please, no one wander off the dam tour and please take all the dam pictures you want. Now are there any dam questions?
Cousin Eddie: Yeah, where can I get some damn bait?
Charlie Barret: I'm going to give you an opportunity: get out of this. Now. Before it gets so fucked up nobody could ever recover.
Bartok: Just wishing I could do the job for you, sir. I'd give her a HA! And a HI-YA! And then a OOH-WAH! And I'd kick her, sir.
Narrator: And so, onward and upward the tired trekkers trudged on feverished footsies over perilous paths. When they beheld the mighty Ape Mountain, the reacted with awe.
Group: Awwww.
Narrator: I said, "Awe." A-W-E.
Group: Ooh.
Narrator: That's better.
Amy: Sometimes magma can find one of those fissures and rise up through it.
Roark: What's magma?
Rachel: Lava.
Roark: Lava? Right here in L.A?
Amy: It is one of the possibilities.
Roark: We have a history of that here in the downtown area?
Rachel: Paricutin... 1943, a Mexican farmer sees smoke coming out of the middle of his cornfield. A week later there's a volcano a thousand feet high. There's no history of anything until it happens. Then there is.
