Vincent: For someone who was never meant for this world, I must confess I'm suddenly having a hard time leaving it. Of course, they say every atom in our bodies was once part of a star. Maybe I'm not leaving... Maybe I'm going home.
The Lady Chablis: Stop telling me what to do. I want to propose a toast. "From my top to your bottom. From your bottom to my top. From my middle to your middle. Be good John and I just might give you a little.
Thomas Devoe: I don't know about these guys, but General Aleksandr Kodoroff doesn't ride around on a nuclear transportation train. It's like Ivana Trump on the subway.
Simon Templar: Do you know what the worst part about being you is?
Ivan Tretiak: What.
Simon Templar: Pretending to be so bad in bed.
Ivan Tretiak: You son of the bitch.
James Russell: I want some answers.
Franklin Hatchett: Hey man, me and Guy just down here, checkin' out some fly rides, and mackin' some hos and chillin'.
James Russell: Imagine that. It's like a G-Dog on a fly tip. Flossin' wit da posse. Cuttin' in da crib. what THE fuck does that mean?
Franklin Hatchett: Man, I don't wanna have to beat yo ass, but I will beat yo ass.
John Milton: So... have we been treating you well?
Kevin Lomax: Very well, thank you.
John Milton: And your wife? She had a good time?
Kevin Lomax: She sure has, it's been great. The whole thing's been great.
John Milton: That's our secret. Kill you with kindness.
Humbert: I missed you. I missed you a lot.
Lolita: Well I haven't missed you. In fact, I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. But it doesn't matter, because you don't care about me anymore anyway.
Humbert: What makes you think I don't care about you?
Lolita: Well you haven't kissed me yet, have you?
Rudy Baylor: Sworn in by a fool and vouched for by a scoundrel. I'm a lawyer at last.
Himmel: Don't flatter me.
Pest: Alright. You have a big nose, your feet stink and your mother dresses you funny.
Harry Dalton: My 9th grade science teacher always said that if you put a frog in boiling hot water, it would jump out. But put it in cold water, and heat it up gradually, it would slowly boil to death.
Nancy: What's that Harry? Your recipe for frog soup?
Harry Dalton: It's my recipe for a disaster.
Bartok: Just wishing I could do the job for you, sir. I'd give her a HA! And a HI-YA! And then a OOH-WAH! And I'd kick her, sir.
Poison Ivy: I must confess, the combination of heroic derring-do and anatomically-correct rubber suit puts fire in a girl's lips.
Batman: Why do all the gorgeous ones have to be homicidal maniacs? Is it me?
Moe Tilden: That cupcake makes a mess and we got a case again.
Rory: You're a stupid man, Mr. Burke. You only see me standing between you and your money. You're forgetting about the thousand men standing behind me. That's a mistake.
Alex Whitman: Where are you going?
Isabel Fuentes: You're not my favorite person right now.
Alex Whitman: Yeah, well, you either.
Ursula's mother: When Lyle returns, this wedding will proceed as planned. If you do anything to upset that, I'll remove your reason for wearing a loincloth.
Debi Newberry: You're a psychopath.
Martin Blank: No, no. Psychopaths kill for no reason. I kill for money. It's a job... That didn't come out right.