Michael Cromwell: I should probably take some pictures of Mimi.
Richard Kempster: I can never have enough pictures of my kids. I have like, four hundred albums. I never look at them, but they exist... it's good, you know?
Lizzie: I know karate.
Helen Holt: There's different kinds of love, darling. Some people you love no matter what, and others you love if the situation is right. To me, the best kind of love is the "no matter what" kind.
Howard (as MamaLookaboobooday): "Kill Kill Kill the White Man" by Eugene Mamalookaboobooday. Eugene is my pen name 'cause I wrote this while I was in the Pen.
Catherine Greer: Whore.
Rebecca: I am not a whore.
Catherine Greer: Then what are you?
Rebecca: He told me what you're like between the sheets. Is it any wonder he needs a woman?
Misato Katsuragi: Shinji, this is your home now.
Sergeant James Dunn: You live alone?
Dr. Victoria Constantini: No, I, I have a boyfriend. He's a cop.
Sergeant James Dunn: You don't have a boyfriend.
Dr. Victoria Constantini: How do you know?
Sergeant James Dunn: There's five empty buckets of Häagen-Dazs in your trash, your legs are stubbly and your hair color needs a touch-up.
Michele: For me, it's like I've just given birth to my own baby girl, except she's like a big giant girl who smokes and says "shit" a lot. You know?
Calderon: What's most bewildering to Her Majesty... is this arrogant independence of the American courts. After all, if you cannot rule the courts, you cannot rule.
Martin Van Buren: Señor Calderon, as any true American will tell you, it's the independence of our courts that keeps us free.
Liquor Store Manager: I said you'll have to leave or we'll call the police.
Kyle: Oh, relax okay?
Liquor Store Manager: That's it Barney, call the police.
Eric: Yeah, Barney cause you got first big guy? Hey ah, do you like this? Points to the bottle of wine.
Liquor Store Manager: Put the bottle back, sir.
Boris Pochenko: Do I not intimidate you at all?
Joy Miller: Is one of your sideburns longer than the other?
Lilly: Oh, well at least I was faithful.
Dan: Yeah, you were faithful like a Kennedy was faithful.
Littlefoot: At least we're safe from the swimming sharp tooth.
Cera: Yeah, I'd much rather be eaten by the one that walks.
Johnny: M.I. does the dying. Fleet just does the flying.
Audience Member: You should run for President! It would send a message.
Michael Moore: What message? Eat out more often?
Dr. Butz: When those lawyers start crawling all over you, that's when you know you're a doctor.
Mitchell Stephens: I can help you.
Billy Ansell: Not unless you can raise the dead.
Richard Rietti: Maybe he's the person that he con'd the most. I mean we all do that, you know. We all keep a little bit of ourselves hidden. Cuz if we didn't, well, then we'd have to look at who we are. Who we really are. And if we didn't like it, well, we'd have nobody to blame but ourselves.