Detective Harlan Regis: I think the president's gonna become an international suspect.
Dalai Lama: We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good.
Djinn: Listen to their screams, child, listen to the music of their agony.
Dave the Lighting Guy: Say, have you seen that movie Clash of the Titans?
Joe Young: Oh yeah, the greek mythology.
Dave the Lighting Guy: Hey, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kick ass.
Capt. Wallace B. Binghampton: Did we wake you up?
Willie: No sir, we've been up since the crack of noon.
Oscar Wilde: I do believe in anything, provided it is incredible. That's why I intend to die a Catholic, though I never could live as one.
Shinji Ikari: I'm so fucked up.
Theodore Roosevelt: Will you be so kind, Mr Crane, with your camera, to take a picture of this regiment on this glorious hill, for we will always live in its shadow.
Mavis LaBreche: I need a crap and a nap and I don't need an audience!"
Chad: Never trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die.
Wade Whitehouse: You know I get the feeling like a whipped dog some days. Some night I'm gonna bite back, I swear.
Referee #1: Ain't no rules says a dog can't play basketball.
Coach: This is a joke, I mean dogs don't play basketball!
Chaney: What's the matter, afraid your team might get beat by a dog?
Coaches: Put him in.
Woolie Mammoth: Did you know the peanut is not a nut at all? And not a pea, for that matter. It's rather odd that we call it a nut because it isn't a nut, you see. It's actually a member of the legume family. How about pea-legume? No, that doesn't make any sense, either. But whatever it is, it makes a splendid tea.
Sonny Black: You know what we do when we find that rat, right, Lefty?
Lefty: 'Could be I found him already.
Maggie: I don't want him back, I just want him vaporized, extinguished! When I'm done with him, he'll be just a twitching little stain on the floor.
Andy McDermott: Great. Come to Paris and check out les drains.
Calderon: What's most bewildering to Her Majesty... is this arrogant independence of the American courts. After all, if you cannot rule the courts, you cannot rule.
Martin Van Buren: Señor Calderon, as any true American will tell you, it's the independence of our courts that keeps us free.
Sonny: I'm a genuine, Holy Ghost, Jesus-filled preachin' machine this mornin'.