Quotes from Jason Statham movies and TV shows

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Below are some quotes involving Jason Statham - click the title to view the complete list. If you think their finest moments are missing from the full list, please submit them.

Detective Sergeant Tom Brant: A word of advice, girls. If you're picking the wrong fight... At least pick the right weapon.

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Chev Chelios: Where's my fucking pumper?

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Chev Chelios: [After catching Johnny Vang.] Did I just drop some change, or did I hear a chink?

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Coach: Tomorrow morning you'll meet your navigator Case. She'll help you navigate the course, reload your weapons, and help with the running of the car.
Jensen Ames: I'd love to talk to her ahead of time before the race.
Gunner: Yeah, I'd like a big-tittied girl to lick peanut butter off my toes, but it ain't gonna happen. This is still a prison, man. She's a chick. They get busted from the women's facility upstate.
Coach: It's all about ratings. Fast cars, pretty women...
Gunner: Machine Gun Joe's the only one that has male navigators, 'cause he's gay.
Lists: A-a-actually it's because he goes through them so fast, and a-a-audience gets squeamish.
Gunner: Yeah he goes through them... Through their ass.
Coach: He cuts each kill into his skin as a souvenir, I hear.

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Jensen Ames: So what are you in for?
Case: They say I killed a cop.
Jensen Ames: Did you do it?
Case: Yeah.
Jensen Ames: Bad cop?
Case: Good cop... Lousy husband.

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Lists: Jensen Garner Ames. Moved to the states at twenty-four years old. Named after a car, the Jensen Intercepter. A three time local speedway champion.
Jensen Ames: You've done your homework, or do you just know everything?
Coach: Jensen Intercepter. I had one. Handled like a school bus.

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Jensen Ames: You sure are lucky a driver like me just happened to turn up in your prison when I did.
Hennessey: Oh, I'm more than lucky. I'm blessed. Sometimes it's like the right hand of god is sitting on my shoulder.

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Lee Christmas: You were stupid enough to get yourself into this mess! And we're the only ones crazy enough to get you out of it!

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Lee Christmas: So you like knives, huh?
Surgeon: I'm the knife before Christmas.

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Lee Christmas: You look like a proud, demented father.
Barney Ross: You could've skipped the demented part.
Lee Christmas: That was a compliment.

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Pirate leader: Drop your guns!
Lee Christmas: Fat chance.
Barney Ross: Why do they always say that?

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Barney Ross: What's wrong with this picture?
Lee Christmas: Everything.

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Lee Christmas: Are you crazy? You could've killed me!
Barney Ross: You're welcome!

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Phil Broker: Whatever you're thinking, rethink it.

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A Demon Premium member

Phil Broker: Come on look around. Beautiful house, horse trails, river in the backyard. What else could we ask for?
Maddy Broker: WiFi.

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Eddie: Oh, and if Tom or anyone else for that matter feels like givin' them a bit of a kickin', I'm sure it won't do any harm.
Soap: Yeah, little bit of pain never hurt anybody. If you know what I mean. Also, I think knives are a good idea. Big, fuck-off shiny ones. Ones that look like they could skin a crocodile. Knives are good, because they don't make any noise, and the less noise they make, the more likely we are to use them. Shit 'em right up. Makes it look like we're serious. Guns for show, knives for a pro.
Tom: Soap, is there something we should know about you?
Bacon: I'm not sure what's more worrying. The job or your past.

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Tom: Jesus, Ed, we've got a traffic warden!
Bacon: I think he's still alive - he's got claret coming out of him somewhere. What did they want with a traffic warden?
Eddie: I don't know, but I don't think we need him! Knock him out and dump him at the lights!
Bacon: Knock him out? What'd ya mean, knock him out? Knock him out with what?
Eddie: I don't know! Use your imagination!
[Bacon weakly punches the Traffic Warden, who moans.]
Tom: Don't touch him up! Knock him out!
Bacon: I'll knock you out in a minute! Look, you want to knock him out? *You* knock him out.
Eddie: I fucking hate traffic wardens.
[Tom and Eddie join Bacon in the back and they all start beating up the traffic warden].

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Arthur Bishop: Good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgment.

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Gabriel Yulaw: Thought you were gona kill me?
Evan Funsch: Just give me the chance, asshole.

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Harry Roedecker: I know where you're from, I know what you've been through. But this place is different. Not everyone is a combatant. There are innocent people here, also. So if you get into the shit, you trust your heart... Not your head. Hmm?
Evan Funsch: Loud and clear, sir.

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