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Hunter: All I care about is that my daughter has greatest night of her life.
Brenda: If it was her greatest night, you would not be here. (00:21:05)

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Kayla: Julie, I got you something. It's coconut oil. For lube. I hear it works just as well, and it makes blow jobs taste like Almond Joy.
Julie: Ah, thank God it doesn't taste like Mounds. I'd rather eat ten dicks than one Mound. (00:15:45)

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Burt Gummer: Take a couple tablespoons of cement, and harden the hell up!

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The Mad Scientist - S1-E1

Perry White: This nut may prove dangerous. (00:02:55)

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Eight Crazy Nights - S6-E45

Nostalgia Critic: Hey, how about that? People may die, but stupidity is forever. (00:24:55)

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Big Fat Liar - S11-E36

Nostalgia Critic: Out for vengeance and, incredibly awkward and hyped up on coke! Now you'll blend in as someone from Hollywood. (00:09:35)

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Fantastic 4 Rise of Silver Surfer - S11-E37

[Johnny turns into The Thing.]
Nostalgia Critic:... You look like one of the Smosh guys in a gritty reboot of The Tigger Movie. (00:14:10)

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Nostalgia Critic: Hellooooo, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to.

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I Worship His Shadow - S1-E1

Kai: In the Light Universe... I have been darkness. Perhaps in the Dark Zone... I will be light. (01:29:55)

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I Worship His Shadow - S1-E1

[Kai stabs Thodin through the chest.]
Thodin: Today... I, Thodin...
[Thodin falls over dead.] (01:02:50)

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I Worship His Shadow - S1-E1

His Divine Shadow: The time has come to prove that all prophecies are false. That no-one can know the future. (00:50:45)

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I Worship His Shadow - S1-E1

Stanley H Tweedle: How did you do that?
Xev Bellringer: I don't know... maybe I've got some Cluster Lizard in me.
Stanley H Tweedle: I could get past that.
790: Don't you even think about it, fugitive. She's my woman. (00:48:20)

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I Worship His Shadow - S1-E1

790: I will love you forever. (00:45:20)

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I Worship His Shadow - S1-E1

Bug Bomb: Bug Bomb... lost head. (00:36:05)

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I Worship His Shadow - S1-E1

Bug Bomb: Mal-Malfunction. (00:35:30)

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I Worship His Shadow - S1-E1

Bug Bomb: Bug Bomb searching, Thodin. (00:32:25)

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I Worship His Shadow - S1-E1

Original Xev Bellringer: Oh pleeeeaasse, put me out of my misery! I volunteer for the protein bank! I don't want to live this terrible life any more. (00:29:50)

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I Worship His Shadow - S1-E1

Kai: Our one chance and our once chance alone is to hit His Shadow's control pod... Good luck. Very...very good luck. (00:02:40)

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Owen Grady: Nervous flyer?
Franklin Webb: Would you ride a-a thousand pound horse that's been abused all its life?
Owen Grady: I rode my motorcycle through the jungle with a pack of raptors.
Franklin Webb: We're not compatible. (00:21:50)

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Claire Dearing: Come on, you're a better man than you think you are.
Owen Grady: You should write fortune cookies. (00:20:00)

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