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X: I guess I'm not powerful enough to defeat him.

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Engineer: I told ya don't touch that darn thing.

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Engineer: That's what ya get!

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Engineer: Like this heavy caliber, tripod-mounted, little ol' number designed by me...built by me...and you'd best hope...not pointed at you. (00:00:55)

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Engineer: How am I going to stop some big mean mother hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind? The answer...use a gun. And if that don't work... [A level 3 sentry gun fires rockets] ...use more gun.
[Explosion.]
Scout: MY ARM! (00:00:30)

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Engineer: Hey look, buddy, I'm an Engineer. That means I solve problems. Not problems like "What is beauty?", because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems. (00:00:05)

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Blacksmith: Thank you for releasing me! I'm a blacksmith. I can't fight demons but I can offer you some weapons.

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Vulgrim: Is this some sort of joke? Return when you're serious.

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Vulgrim: Did you come all this way to waste my time?

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Vulgrim: Let me know if I can help you.

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Vulgrim: You are as wise as you are powerful.

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Vulgrim: Greetings.

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The Watcher: Hmm, the Twilight Cathedral. Samael said something about seeking the high ground? Might be tough... for a muckdweller like you.

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The Watcher: You'd better come when I call.

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The Watcher: Samael's Prison must be close. Keep your eyes peeled... or I'll peel them for you.

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Samael: And bring me her still beating heart.

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Hellgore: Looking for a deep story...? You came to the wrong place. I'm all about blood, nukes, earthquakes, and serious action... But most importantly, Big. Fucking. Guns. They call me Hellgore, and I'm here to take things back to basics.

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Vulgrim: What would you ask of this humble merchant?

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Samael: War! Are you here to play executioner? They should have sent all four of you.
War: I have no interest in killing you, Samael.
Samael: Ha! The Destroyer? He is beyond your reach. Beyond mine.
War: Has prison made you a coward?
Samael: Rrrraaaggghhh!

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Soldier: [After dominating a scout] How's that domination feel, city boy?

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