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Auto: Oh brother, there's no end to 'em... Doc, how about givin' your favorite assistant a break?
Roll: I don't need a break, Auto! You know for a robot, you sure do complain a lot.

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The Charred Council: The souls of the dead will be your currency. Some enemies are more easily bought than killed.

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The Charred Council: Chaoseater. The angry blade thirsts for destruction.

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The Charred Council: The Watcher is bound to you. It will ensure your loyalty.
The Watcher: Hmmmhmhmhmhmh. Remember that, or I will really get under your skin.

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War: I serve only the Council. Only the Balance. As the Horseman always have. Send me back! I will punish the ones responsible!
The Charred Council: How? What hope have you against the Destroyer's armies? You are powerless!
War: Then I will fail, and the demons will have carried out your sentence.
The Charred Council: Very well. You will return to the Earth. But you will be watched! Come forth.

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War: I fought powerless against the demons! And still you accuse me!?

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The Charred Council: The Law is clear; When the Seventh Seal is broken, Four Horsemen shall ride forth to punish the wicked... be they Sons of Men, Lords of Heaven, or the Dregs of Hell. All upon the Earth will be judged, and the pact forged anew... You forget your post, Horseman! You forget the law! No call was given. Yet the Destroyer marched, and there you were found, under his black banner if the claims are true.
War: To hell with your claims! The Seals were broken! I was summoned.

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War: The law... has been broken.
Straga: And so have you, Horseman. Mauahahahaha.

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Dr. Light: Hmm, all systems nominal! You're in great shape, BlockMan.
BlockMan: All thanks to you, Doc! You built me rock solid.

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Hunter: Did he make you do something you don't want to do!? I don't care if he's the fuckin' coolest kid in school, I'm gonna shove his fedora so far up his ass, it'll be a hat. (01:22:50)

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Marcie: How do you expect society to treat women as if they're equal when their own parents wont?
Lisa: I don't know about that! I'll deal with society tomorrow. Right now I'm thinking about my daughter. (00:45:30)

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Angelica: She's still a little confused...
Sam: How do you think one becomes... not confused?
Angelica: It's probably different for everyone. But for me, when I kissed Brad Markowski, I started to suspect it, and then last year when I touched Dash Lowenstien's dick, I was like "Fffffuck no!" It was like holding a dead snake. (00:34:00)

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Hunter: Do you like freak out when you see a bee fuckin' a flower?
Lisa: I'm gonna stop her.
Mitchel: I'm in!
Lisa: Let's cock block those motherfuckers. (00:29:05)

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Hunter: All I care about is that my daughter has greatest night of her life.
Brenda: If it was her greatest night, you would not be here. (00:21:05)

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Kayla: Julie, I got you something. It's coconut oil. For lube. I hear it works just as well, and it makes blow jobs taste like Almond Joy.
Julie: Ah, thank God it doesn't taste like Mounds. I'd rather eat ten dicks than one Mound. (00:15:45)

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Burt Gummer: Take a couple tablespoons of cement, and harden the hell up!

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The Mad Scientist - S1-E1

Perry White: This nut may prove dangerous. (00:02:55)

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Eight Crazy Nights - S6-E45

Nostalgia Critic: Hey, how about that? People may die, but stupidity is forever. (00:24:55)

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Big Fat Liar - S11-E36

Nostalgia Critic: Out for vengeance and, incredibly awkward and hyped up on coke! Now you'll blend in as someone from Hollywood. (00:09:35)

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Fantastic 4 Rise of Silver Surfer - S11-E37

[Johnny turns into The Thing.]
Nostalgia Critic:... You look like one of the Smosh guys in a gritty reboot of The Tigger Movie. (00:14:10)

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