Family Guy
Movie Quote Quiz

Waiter: Your coffee, madam.
Lois: I'll pour it. You know, my family really isn't comfortable with being waited on like this.
Stewie: Cut my eggs!
Waiter: Your eggs are now cut, sir.
Stewie: Cut my milk!
Waiter: I can't cut your milk, sir.
Stewie: Imbecile! Freeze it, then cut it. If you question me again, I'll put you on diaper detail, and I promise I won't make it easy for you.

Chitty Chitty Death Bang - S1-E3

Brian: Bravo, Peter. You are the Spalding Gray of crap. (00:09:33)

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Chitty Chitty Death Bang - S1-E3

Peter: Chris, this is a big day for you. The day you become the man of the house. Because when we get home, you're mother is going to kill me. (00:07:35)

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I Never Met the Dead Man - S1-E2

Tom: Because of an accident today at the Quahog Cable Company, all television transmission will be out for an underermined amount of time... Of course, no-one can see this news program so it doesn't really mater what we say. I'm the lord Jesus Christ I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets. How about you, Diane?
Diane: Well, Tom. I just plain don't like black people.
[Both Laugh]
Camera Man: Hey guys, we're still on in Boston.
(00:07:33)

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I Never Met the Dead Man - S1-E2

Peter: Hey Meg, you mind cleaning out the shower next time you shave your legs? It's like a carpet in there. (00:07:06)

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Death Has a Shadow - S1-E1

Guy in courtroom: Mr. President, why do you think the American public has continued to support you through out these impeachment proceedings?
Bill Clinton: Um, probably because you're so fat!
(00:12:23)

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Death Has a Shadow - S1-E1

Lois: Stewie, who don't you go play in the other room?
Stewie: Why don't you burn in hell!?
Lois: Well, no desert for you, young man.
(00:12:06)

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Death Has a Shadow - S1-E1

Meg: Oh my God, you got fired!?
Chris: Way to go, dad! Fight the machine!
Stewie: How do you know about the machine!?
Peter: Now don't worry, kids. Your father's still going to put food on this table. Just not as much so it might get a little bit competitive.
Meg: Who cares about food? Now we'll never be able to afford my lip injections!
Brian: Hey, Peter. Can we put her out in the yard for a while?
(00:07:10)

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Death Has a Shadow - S1-E1

Charlie: What is this!?
Peter: Ah man, my kid must have taped over this for History Class.
Group: Aaawweeee!
Guy: The Statue of Liberty? What are we gonna do!?
Peter: Boys, we're going to drink till she's hot.
Quagmire: Hey, that's just crazy enough to work!
(00:04:24)

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Death Has a Shadow - S1-E1

Quagmire: Hey, who want's to play drink the beer?
Peter: Right here! [Drinks]
Quagmire: Heh, you win!
Peter: All right! What do I win?
Quagmire: Another beer!
Peter: Oh I'm going for the high score!
Quagmire: Well actually, Charlie's got the high score.
Charlie: Hey, man! Your clock won't flush.
(00:03:44)

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North by North Quahog - S4-E1

Peter: Everybody I've got bad news. We've been cancelled.
Lois: Oh no Peter! How could they do that?
Peter: Well unfortuantely Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We just gotta accept the fact that FOX has to make room for terrific shows like Dark Angel, Titus, Undeclared, Action, That 80's Show, Wonder Falls, Fast Lane, Andy Richter Controls The Universe, Skin, Girl's Club, Cracking Up, The Pitts, Firefly, Get Real, Freaky Links, Wanda At Large, Costello, The Lone Gunman, A Minute with Stan Hooper, Normal Ohio, Pasadena, Harsh Realm, Keen Eddy, The Street, American Embassy, Cedric The Entertainer, The Tick, Louie, And Greg The Bunny...
Lois: Is there no hope?
Peter: Well I suppose if ALL those shows go down the tubes we might have a shot.

Running Mates - S2-E10

Peter: Brian, I am just as non-competitive as anyone else. As a matter of fact I'm the most non-competitive, so I win.

Death Has a Shadow - S1-E1

Peter: Y'know I feel kinda bad you guys, I promised my wife I wouldn't drink tonight.
Quagmire: Aw, Don't feel bad, Peter.
Peter: Huh. Gee, I never thought of it like that.

I Never Met the Dead Man - S1-E2

[Stewie plays with his Sesame Street phone.]
Ernie's voice: Do you know what sound a cow makes?
Stewie: Don't toy with me Ernie! I've already dispatched with Mr.Hooper, I've got six armed men stationed outside Big Bird's nest and as for Linda, well it's rather difficult for a deaf woman to hear an assassin aproach, now isn't it?

Brian: Portrait of a Dog - S1-E7

Lois: I'm a little worried about Stewie.
Peter: Lois, can we stop talking about curtains for just a second?

Death Has a Shadow - S1-E1

Brian: Hey, Peter, it's seven o'clock and you've still got your pants on. What's the occasion?

Chitty Chitty Death Bang - S1-E3

Peter: Hey, Lois, look. The two symbols of the Republican party: an elephant, and a big, fat white guy who's threatened by change.

Chris Griffin: Stewie, do you want a sundae?
Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find...I shall kill you!

Holy Crap - S2-E2

Peter: My father's been working at the plant for 60 years. That's nearly 80 years.

Diane Simmons: Quite a situation we've got here Tom.
Tom Tucker: Quite a situation we've got here Tom indeed, Diane.

Underage Peter - S14-E14

Plot hole: They're in the Clam complaining that they can't drink when they make the revelation that Brian can because he's technically 56. But Quagmire should be able to drink, as in a much earlier episode, he's revealed to be over 60.

More mistakes in Family Guy

Trivia: The voices of Brian, Stewie and Peter (as well as other minor characters) are all voiced by the creator, Seth Macfarlane.

More trivia for Family Guy

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