Tree: Hot enough for ya?
Tree: I say, hot enough for ya?
Peter: Uh, yeah, I guess...Oh my God I'm... I'm communicating with nature! Uh uh, hey um... tree! If one of you falls and there's no-one around. D-do you make a noise?
Tree: Are you kidding? Scott fell last week, he hasn't shut up about it since!
Scott: Sure! Stand there and bitch! But would any of you take the time to help me!?
Tree #3: Ooh ooh, I'm playing the world's smallest violin, Scott. (00:17:38)
Peter: I can not wait to taste this cake! The guy who sold it to me said it was delicious and erotic.
Lois: Peter, there's a naked man on this cake.
Peter: Well, there were only two left. And trust me, you did not want the one of Al Roker with the Hershey Kiss nipples. (00:20:20)
Lois: And your family gives you love. You should spend some time with our kids, Peter. And with me.
Peter: Well what could you and me do together?
Peter: *gasp* Lois! You've got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter: Oooh, oh I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money. (00:14:49)
Chris: Uh, dad. What would you say if I told you I didn't want to be in the Scouts?
Peter: I'd say 'come again!?'. Then I'd laugh cause I said 'cum'. But thank God that's not the case, eh? You're a Scout! And you know what that means? That means I love ya!
[Chris groans in frustrated annoyance.] (00:03:01)
Tom: Because of an accident today at the Quahog Cable Company, all television transmission will be out for an underermined amount of time... Of course, no-one can see this news program so it doesn't really mater what we say. I'm the lord Jesus Christ I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets. How about you, Diane?
Diane: Well, Tom. I just plain don't like black people.
Camera Man: Hey guys, we're still on in Boston. (00:07:33)