Family Guy

Family Guy (1999)

26 quotes from season 1

(13 votes)

Movie Quote Quiz

The Son Also Draws - S1-E6

Tree: Hot enough for ya?
Peter: Wha-what?
Tree: I say, hot enough for ya?
Peter: Uh, yeah, I guess...Oh my God I'm... I'm communicating with nature! Uh uh, hey um... tree! If one of you falls and there's no-one around. D-do you make a noise?
Tree: Are you kidding? Scott fell last week, he hasn't shut up about it since!
Scott: Sure! Stand there and bitch! But would any of you take the time to help me!?
Tree #3: Ooh ooh, I'm playing the world's smallest violin, Scott.
(00:17:38)

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The Son Also Draws - S1-E6

[Peter is eating cereal].
Peter: Oh my God, Brian... There's a message in my Alpha Bits... It says "Ooooooo".
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.
(00:16:02)

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Mind over Murder - S1-E4

Peter: Isn't it great? Oh boy, I feel just like Tim Allen. I build stuff, and I have a criminal record. (00:10:00)

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The Son Also Draws - S1-E6

Chris: Uh, dad. What would you say if I told you I didn't want to be in the Scouts?
Peter: I'd say 'come again!?'. Then I'd laugh cause I said 'cum'. But thank God that's not the case, eh? You're a Scout! And you know what that means? That means I love ya!
[Chris groans in frustrated annoyance.]
(00:03:01)

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A Hero Sits Next Door - S1-E5

The Grinch: You thought you have won. You thought all is well. But kiss my green ass, I shall see you in hell.

Chitty Chitty Death Bang - S1-E3

Peter: I can not wait to taste this cake! The guy who sold it to me said it was delicious and erotic.
Lois: Peter, there's a naked man on this cake.
Peter: Well, there were only two left. And trust me, you did not want the one of Al Roker with the Hershey Kiss nipples.
(00:20:20)

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Chitty Chitty Death Bang - S1-E3

Jennifer: Meg, you didn't tell me your mother was just like Martha Stewart.
Lois: Oh, no. Once you get to know me, I'm really very nice.
(00:11:36)

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I Never Met the Dead Man - S1-E2

Lois: And your family gives you love. You should spend some time with our kids, Peter. And with me.
Peter: Well what could you and me do together?
Lois: [Giggles]
Peter: *gasp* Lois! You've got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter: Oooh, oh I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.
(00:14:49)

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I Never Met the Dead Man - S1-E2

Lois: Come on, Stewie. You know you can't leave the table until you finished your vegetables.
Stewie: Well then I shall sit here till one of us expires! And you've got a good 40 years on me, woman!
(00:01:05)

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Death Has a Shadow - S1-E1

Brian: Whoa, ass ahoy. (00:02:28)

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A Hero Sits Next Door - S1-E5

[Peter learns Joe is in a wheelchair.]
Peter: Holy crip, he's a crapple.

Chitty Chitty Death Bang - S1-E3

Brian: Bravo, Peter. You are the Spalding Gray of crap. (00:09:33)

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Chitty Chitty Death Bang - S1-E3

Peter: Chris, this is a big day for you. The day you become the man of the house. Because when we get home, you're mother is going to kill me. (00:07:35)

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I Never Met the Dead Man - S1-E2

Tom: Because of an accident today at the Quahog Cable Company, all television transmission will be out for an underermined amount of time... Of course, no-one can see this news program so it doesn't really mater what we say. I'm the lord Jesus Christ I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets. How about you, Diane?
Diane: Well, Tom. I just plain don't like black people.
[Both Laugh]
Camera Man: Hey guys, we're still on in Boston.
(00:07:33)

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I Never Met the Dead Man - S1-E2

Peter: Hey Meg, you mind cleaning out the shower next time you shave your legs? It's like a carpet in there. (00:07:06)

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Death Has a Shadow - S1-E1

Guy in courtroom: Mr. President, why do you think the American public has continued to support you through out these impeachment proceedings?
Bill Clinton: Um, probably because you're so fat!
(00:12:23)

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Death Has a Shadow - S1-E1

Lois: Stewie, who don't you go play in the other room?
Stewie: Why don't you burn in hell!?
Lois: Well, no desert for you, young man.
(00:12:06)

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Death Has a Shadow - S1-E1

Meg: Oh my God, you got fired!?
Chris: Way to go, dad! Fight the machine!
Stewie: How do you know about the machine!?
Peter: Now don't worry, kids. Your father's still going to put food on this table. Just not as much so it might get a little bit competitive.
Meg: Who cares about food? Now we'll never be able to afford my lip injections!
Brian: Hey, Peter. Can we put her out in the yard for a while?
(00:07:10)

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Death Has a Shadow - S1-E1

Charlie: What is this!?
Peter: Ah man, my kid must have taped over this for History Class.
Group: Aaawweeee!
Guy: The Statue of Liberty? What are we gonna do!?
Peter: Boys, we're going to drink till she's hot.
Quagmire: Hey, that's just crazy enough to work!
(00:04:24)

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Death Has a Shadow - S1-E1

Quagmire: Hey, who want's to play drink the beer?
Peter: Right here! [Drinks]
Quagmire: Heh, you win!
Peter: All right! What do I win?
Quagmire: Another beer!
Peter: Oh I'm going for the high score!
Quagmire: Well actually, Charlie's got the high score.
Charlie: Hey, man! Your clock won't flush.
(00:03:44)

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Underage Peter - S14-E14

Plot hole: They're in the Clam complaining that they can't drink when they make the revelation that Brian can because he's technically 56. But Quagmire should be able to drink, as in a much earlier episode, he's revealed to be over 60.

More mistakes in Family Guy

Trivia: The voices of Brian, Stewie and Peter (as well as other minor characters) are all voiced by the creator, Seth Macfarlane.

More trivia for Family Guy

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