Meg: Oh my God, you got fired!?
Chris: Way to go, dad! Fight the machine!
Stewie: How do you know about the machine!?
Peter: Now don't worry, kids. Your father's still going to put food on this table. Just not as much so it might get a little bit competitive.
Meg: Who cares about food? Now we'll never be able to afford my lip injections!
Brian: Hey, Peter. Can we put her out in the yard for a while? (00:07:10)
Quagmire: Hey, who want's to play drink the beer?
Peter: Right here! [Drinks]
Quagmire: Heh, you win!
Peter: All right! What do I win?
Quagmire: Another beer!
Peter: Oh I'm going for the high score!
Quagmire: Well actually, Charlie's got the high score.
Charlie: Hey, man! Your clock won't flush. (00:03:44)
I Never Met the Dead Man - S1-E2
[Stewie plays with his Sesame Street phone.]
Ernie's voice: Do you know what sound a cow makes?
Stewie: Don't toy with me Ernie! I've already dispatched with Mr.Hooper, I've got six armed men stationed outside Big Bird's nest and as for Linda, well it's rather difficult for a deaf woman to hear an assassin aproach, now isn't it?
Brian: Portrait of a Dog - S1-E7
Lois: I'm a little worried about Stewie.
Peter: Lois, can we stop talking about curtains for just a second?
Brian: Hey, Peter, it's seven o'clock and you've still got your pants on. What's the occasion?
I Never Met the Dead Man - S1-E2
Meg: Dad, we can't leave now. My entire life depends on getting my license. If I can't drive, I'll never have any boyfriends, I'll never get married, and then I'll have to adopt a kid like Rosie O'Donnell.
Peter: Meg, are you implying that Rosie O'Donnell can't drive? (00:04:43)
Answer: Lacey Chabert was the actress who originally voiced Meg in early episodes. She left of her own accord due to being in school and other acting work; Seth MacFarlane has stated there was no tension with her leaving, but it makes for a handy joke for the show.
Jon Sandys ★