Family Guy (1999)

If I'm Dyin' I'm Lyin' - S2-E9

Peter: Don't worry. I read a book about this sort of thing.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't NOTHING?
Peter: Oh yeah.

The Story on Page 1 - S2-E19

Peter Griffin: You know that whole Vietnam thing? Never happened.
Brian Griffin: Oh yeah, but don't mention it around the Veterans Hospital. Those guys are really committed to the lie. (00:14:52)

The Story on Page 1 - S2-E19

Peter Griffin: Gays don't vomit. They're a very clean people. And they have been ever since they came to this country from France. (00:18:17)

The Story on Page 1 - S2-E19

Brian Griffin: If I remember correctly, this is the Physics department.
Chris Griffin: That explains all the gravity. (00:03:07)

Wasted Talent - S2-E20

Lois: Peter, you're drunk again!
Peter: No, I'm just exhausted because I've been up all night drinking.

Dammit Janet - S2-E15

Lois: My feet are killing me, I've got vomit in my pocket, and I've seen that crappy Julia Roberts movie 47 times! Have you seen the lips on that woman?! Got a baboon's ass on her face. (00:15:20)

Quantom X ★

There's Something About Paulie - S2-E16

Lois: Peter please. I saw an ad for a used car that would be perfect.
Peter: Oh no, Lois. No a guy at work bought a car out of the paper. Ten years later, bam! Herpes. (00:01:45)

Quantom X ★

There's Something About Paulie - S2-E16

Peter: Oh uh, hi Bonny... This is my friend, Big Fat Pauly. And uh, this is his big fat ass. (00:11:05)

Quantom X ★

Let's Go to the Hop - S2-E14

Peter: Gregg Allman, how did you handle it, when life got you down?
Gregg Allman: Me? I did a lot of drugs, married some broad named Cher. I wouldn't recommend either one of them. (00:16:15)

Quantom X ★

Let's Go to the Hop - S2-E14

Stewie: You know, mother. This could almost have passed for a palatable banana pudding, but without nilla wafers... it's just another one of your wretched culinary abortions! (00:14:00)

Quantom X ★

Road to Rhode Island - S2-E13

Chris: OK Meg, I'm thinking of another word. And this time it's definitely not 'kitty'. Can you guess what it is?
Meg: Is it kitty?
Chris: Aaah! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! (00:21:40)

Quantom X ★

Road to Rhode Island - S2-E13

Farmer: I don't trust you. You put your seed in my daughter's belly. You're fired!
Pilot: But Pa, you can't fire me!
Farmer: You're lucky you're my brother, too, or I'd kill you. (00:12:05)

Quantom X ★

Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater - S2-E1

Stewie: I say, mother, this hotdog has been on my plate for a full minute and it hasn't yet cut itself.
Lois: Honey, I'll be right there.
Stewie: Oh, by all means, take your time. Oh and when you do finally get around to it, I'll be the one covered in flies a belly that protrudes halfway to bloody Boston! (00:00:31)

Quantom X ★

Running Mates - S2-E10

Peter: Brian, I am just as non-competitive as anyone else. As a matter of fact I'm the most non-competitive, so I win.

Holy Crap - S2-E2

Peter: My father's been working at the plant for 60 years. That's nearly 80 years.