J. Jonah Jameson: Awe, that's sweet. I hate sweet. I need photos. Photos of Spider-Man!
Poetry Journal Assistant: This is a poetry journal.
J. Jonah Jameson: Okay then, poems about Spider-Man. And I want them finished before you start. And before you finish, get me some coffee. And the poems should have the following rhyme scheme: A-B-B-A-A-B-B-A-C-D-E-C-D-E. What are you waiting for, Chinese New Year?
Poetry Journal Assistant: Chief, we just got a submission from a brilliant poet no-one's ever heard of.
J. Jonah Jameson: Huh, huh, hmm. Genius. Pay him nothing and run it on the cover. [Picks up phone] Stop the presses, send my wife some flowers, and bring me an Advil. What do you mean you don't work for me? You're hired. Now that you're hired, you're fired. Now that you don't work here, we can be friends. Now that we're friends, how come you never call? Some friend you are! [Hangs up] God, I love this business.