Earl Montgomery: Ah I see how this works. The system can't tolerate a black man with superior police skills, huh? It's the future of law enforcement, and it scares you... Because you'll be out of work! Right? Look, I remember when the NBA was all white. That's all right, that's all right. I'm fine, I'm cool. Because y'all losing somebody good, though! I'm a virtual, one man, Kung-Fu S.W.A.T. Team! Dah! Yawh! That's all right. I got skills!. YOU BITCHES!
Hank Rafferty: Need some help?
Earl Montgomery: You asking me if I need some help, or if... If I'm stealing this car?
Hank Rafferty: Okay, fine. Are you stealing this car?
Earl Montgomery: Does it look like I'm stealing this damn car?
Hank Rafferty: Little bit.
Earl Montgomery: Why? Because I'm black? White man has his hand in the car, you probably give him a Good Samaritan award, huh? Figure he's just going around turning off people's lights.
Lola: The lights went out, and I couldn't find the switch. So I was filing in the dark. That's why I called you here.
Earl Montgomery: Lola... Filing in the dark is a serious offence. You're in a lot of trouble.
Lieutenant Washington: Now, let me see if I got this figured out. You get out of prison, pissed with your life... You decide to pay your old buddy Earl a visit. Things get out of hand... Shots are fired, police respond just in time to catch Hank trying to get away with you in his car, probably holding you at gunpoint. Am I correct?
Earl Montgomery: Amazing. You are very, very good.
Boog: When I'm a bear-skin rug, they can walk all over me. Until then, I ain't going down without a fight.
Mother-in-Law: In my day, the women stayed home. Not the lazy men.
Bobby Davis: In your day, men were busy building pyramids! How long ago was that?
Charley: Needless to say, we don't carry firearms anymore. Sometimes you pull them out and think they're not loaded, and.
Bobby Davis: You blow your deputy's ear off.
Dudley Frank: Thanks, Woody, I feel really safe with you.
Woody Stevens: I noticed that. If you ever lay your head on my back while riding bitch, I'll throw you into traffic.
Dudley Frank: I was just trying to keep the wind out of my face.
Woody Stevens: I felt you smell my neck.
Bobby Davis: Did you smell that man's neck?
Dudley Frank: His cologne is fantastic. It's musky with an oaky finish like a... lawyer cowboy.
Bobby Davis: A lawyer cowboy?
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