Carmen Naranjo: Do you know why we clink glasses before drinking?.. It's so that all the five senses are involved. We touch the glass. We smell the drink. We see its color. We taste it. Hearing is the only sense that doesn't participate unless we create it.
Carter: Now gimme a hundred-thousand in chips, and a diet pepsi and some hot wings!
Narrator: Eddie Thomas and Gwen Harrison: America's Sweethearts.
Lance Barton: I got roaches. Who here got roaches?
Man in Audience: Everybody got roaches, man. It's Harlem.
Archie: Uh-oh! Uh-oh.
Dr. Dolittle: Uh-oh, what? What's the problem?
Archie: Ice cream is acting up.
Dr. Dolittle: What ice cream?
Archie: I got depressed after Sonny and Ava, and I went on a bender. And by the second gallon, I realised I'm in love with Ava and this ice cream called "Cherry Garcia."
Gord Brody: Look, Daddy, I'm a farmer.
Les: Du Jour means seat belts. Du Jour means crash positions.
Randy: There's the ten-thousand dollars... well, aren't you gonna count it?
Mr. Burmeister: Nah.
Randy: You trust me?
Mr. Burmeister: No, but I kill people.
Neighbor: Hey, shutup down there.
Gordon: I'm covered in ca-ca.
Mary: Oh my God, you castrated him.
Uncle Jack: If he's cursing on TV, then, he's tight.
Tenley: You're thinking about kissing me, aren't you?
Ryan: No.
Tenley: Well, now that I've said that, you're thinking about it.
Ryan: No, I'm thinking that's what you're thinking.
Tenley: No, I'm thinking that I could swim the length and back underwater.
Ryan: Five bucks says you can't.
Tenley: You got it.
Roxana: And remember, turn on the headlights.
Kelly: Are you crying?
Berke Landers: No, you're squeezing my puncture wound.
Freddie Tiffany: Man, you really are from the projects. You didn't hit a damn thing.
Jane: I mean, c'mon! I was comparing men to animals... Which, let's face it, sometimes they are. But sometimes, they are not. Sometimes, you open the barn door, or the bedroom door, or the hospital room door, and you find the real thing. You find a guy that can sit with you when you're at your absolute worst, when your face looks like a punching bag and you're elbow deep in Kleenex, and he can still look at you, and tell you that Ray is not the last man you're ever going to love.
Eric: Love may not make the world go round, but it makes the ride worth while.
Count Thibault: You are lionhearted, Julia, like the women of your lineage. You have courage.
Steve Meyers: What do you think of a moral victory?
Anna Redmond: A moral victory sounds good.