Gwen: I smell smoke. Is somebody smoking?
Kiki: I don't know.
Gwen: It's probably Larry. How many heart attacks has he had?
Kiki: I bet you've never read a book in your life.
Gwen: Ha! I read all four of the Harry Potter books.
Lee: Ladies and gentlemen, here they are... Eddie and Gwen, together again! America's Sweethearts.
Gwen: It's just not fair. There's all this pressure on me, and none whatsoever on Eddie, is there? He's probably all Summer having the time of his life.
Lee: Okay, Siegfried and Roy just left the building. They're heading for the pool deck.
Danny: Siegfried and Roy are here?
Lee: No, not the real Siegfri... It's a code. You wanted to play this game, you little schmuck.
Hector: Maybe you want to take a swing at me? Huh? Tall boy. Come on. Please, come on.
Eddie: What are you...? What is that?
Hector: Let's go. Please. Please, make my day.
Danny: Felix, this is Oscar. The monkey is in daycare. Repeat, the monkey is in daycare.
Kiki: Good morning. How do you feel?
Eddie: I feel good. I mean... I feel weird, but I feel good. You?
Kiki: Yeah, I feel something along those lines. Good, weird. Weird, good.
Eddie: I am grateful for you. In all the world, thing I am most grateful for is you.
Kiki: If that's a line from one of your movies.
Eddie: No, that one's mine.
Wellness Guide: Are you comfortable speaking about Gwen?
Eddie: Think I should?
Wellness Guide: There's no "should."
Eddie: Think I can?
Wellness Guide: What is "can"?
Danny: How will you get Eddy and Gwen there?
Lee: Don't worry. I know somebody.
Gwen: Eddie's really good... and he's my pillar of strength, you know. It's like Sodom and Gomorrah.
Kiki: You know the expression, "falling off the wagon", Lee? This is what it looks like.
Lee: Yeah, but you got twenty or thirty pounds of food to break your fall. What the hell happened?
Kiki: Bad morning. Preceded by thirty three bad years.
Lee: Does this have something to do with Gwen?
Hector: What? I'm not invited to the "hunket?"
Lee: I'm thorry, it wath the thudio'th dethithion.
Lee: They liked the movie. The press actually liked this crazy movie. They're calling it the "Blair Bitch Project."
Eddie: That's a nice necklace.
Kiki: It's not really mine.
Eddie: I know.
Kiki: It's Gwen's.
Eddie: I know.
Kiki: She gave it to me.
Eddie: And I gave it to her.
Kiki: I know.
Lee: Did you cut this yourself?
Danny: Well, no, Chad in Marketing.
Lee: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Always take credit. That is survival rule number one.
Danny: Okay, yes, I did it on my Mac.
Lee: Rule number two: Don't take credit until someone actually says they like what you did. It's not bad.
Wellness Guide: We have a saying, Edward: "Mecka lecka halava, beem sala beem."
Eddie: What is that? Bean salad?
Wellness Guide: "Mecka lecka halava, beem sala beem."
Eddie: What does that mean?
Wellness Guide: I don't know what it means, it's very old.
Eddie: I'm grateful for the earth... I'm grateful for the stars and the sky.
Eddie: How can you be in love with someone and not even like them at the same time?
