Fiona: There's a sort of greatness to your lateness.
Charles: Thanks, it's not achieved without real suffering.
Officer Sam 'Mad Dog' Shaw: Where you guys from, Texas?
Pepper: Texas? Ain't no real cowboys from Texas, we're from New Mexico.
Peter: This guy, by the way, could be the biggest loser who ever walked the face of the earth. He could be a grump, a jerk, a pervert, a cynic, a man who's mind is infested with dark thoughts, he could be a criminal... he could be... truly sick.
Rube Baker: Hey, Cerrano. I'm on the rooster.
David Stephens: And how would you react, then, if I told you I was the Antichrist?
Shaddus Peyser: What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?
Spike: Look, you berzerko Barbie doll, when you mess with Spike, you mess with death.
Becky O'Shea: You can talk the talk but can you walk the walk?
Spike: Try me.
Becky O'Shea: I will.
Spike: Let's go.
Becky O'Shea: Right now.
Jake Berman: Somebody call 911.
Zach: You know, if you were wearing a skirt right now, I'd be in heaven.
Bill: You got the wrong file. When have I ever been a teacher?
Beverly: Look, you've got a Masters degree, that means you can teach.
Bill: No it doesn't. No, it only means hypothetically that I could.
Beverly: Come on, Bill. Now it's a good job. Six weeks. A decent salary. And you get to live there.
Bill: Beverly, I...I'll get my head blown off. Do you know how many kids carry guns to school these days?
Beverly: In this case all of them. I guess you didn't get to the "where" part.
Carmen: You wanna cover Brooklyn, then cover Brooklyn! But let me tell you something, you can't cover Brooklyn from a barstool in Manhattan.
Maverick: Well, now, I bring all sorts of plusses to the table. I hardly ever bluff and I never ever cheat.
Tum Tum: I wanted to come to Japan, Grandpa.
Grandpa: Thank you for wanting to continue your Ninja training.
Tum Tum: Ninja? I really wanted to go there to learn how to be a Sumo Wrestler. You know how much those guys get to eat everyday?
George Knox: You're Roger's mom?
Maggie Nelson: Nope.
George Knox: Aunt? Grandma?
Maggie Nelson: No, we're not related. This is a short-term foster care facility, I run it. Roger is a ward of the state.
George Knox: I see. So Roger, he's got a wild imagination? Always coming up with stories?
Maggie Nelson: No actually, he's very grounded. Truth is most kids who are taken away from their parents by the court system, have a good handle on reality.
Serge: Now, one thing's very important. At the survival boutiqua, I feel that it's my personality, that's it's my philosophy that everything must conform to the three P's, OK? Which is, protection. Prestige. And pretty. I mean, why should you look ugly if you're just trying to survive?
Helen Sinclair: Two martinis please, very dry.
David Shayne: How'd you know what I drank?
Helen Sinclair: Oh, you want one too? Three.
Cliff Spab: I'd like to live forever... but only for a little while.
Margaret Sullivan: Isn't that wonderful? Your Grandfather gave you the twins.
Billy Heywood: I would rather have my Grandfather.