Clifford: You wouldn't lie to me, would you Uncle Martin? 'Cause if you did I'd be so angry I don't know what I'd do.
Martin Daniels: I have a criminal record. But you know what you're gonna have? You're gonna have a one-way ticket back to your parents.
Clifford: Don't send me back to my parents, they hate me.
Martin Daniels: Not as much as I do.
Martin Daniels: Don't worry about Clifford, he'll be fine if you give him a ton of sugar and a book about Hitler.
Clifford: I think you're the bestest uncle in the whole wide world.
Martin Daniels: I'm going to build the bestest nuclear bomb in the whole wide world.
Sarah Davis: See Clifford, didn't I tell you everything would be all right?
Clifford: Yes you did Miss Sarah, but I don't like those men. They're liars, and everybody knows that liars eventually get caught.
Martin Daniels: Yeah that's right you little peckerhead.
Martin Daniels: If you even look at me wrong. If you do one thing that I find weird, which is, you know, like, your middle name... See? You're doing it right now. Can you just act like a human boy for one minute here? Look at me like a person! You can't do it for more than a few seconds. Look at me like a human boy.
Sarah Davis: You're a phony! Believe me, I can spot a phony a mile away.
Drag Queen: Excuse me, Honey, have you seen a gray Collie dog around here?
Sarah Davis: No, Ma'am, I haven't.
Chosen answer: There were scenes that were edited into the television edition of the movie, but weren't included in the VHS or DVD edition, and this was one of them. Reference: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109447/board/thread/49571041.