David Shayne: Maybe Olive's got stage fright. Maybe she won't show.
Julian Marx: Not Olive. That dame doesn't have a nerve in her body. I don't think her spinal cord touches her brain.
David Shayne: You thought my first draft was c-cerebral and tepid?
Helen Sinclair: Only the plot and the dialogue. But this.
David Shayne: Was-was-was there nothing in the original draft that you feel was worth saving?
Helen Sinclair: The stage directions were lucid. Best I've ever seen... and the color of the binder. Good choice.
David Shayne: Thank you. I've always had a flair for stage directions.
Nick: Sorry you guys had to hear that. Some problems with the firm.
David Shayne: Really? What type of firm is it, Nick?
Nick: It's a "don't stick your nose in other people's business and it won't get broken" type of firm.
Eden Brent: There you are. Mr. Purcell, you have been stealing our dog yummies and eating them.
Warner Purcell: Absolutely not. That's an outrageous suggestion.
Eden Brent: Then let me see in your pockets.
Warner Purcell: Would I eat dog food?
Eden Brent: You'd eat anything that didn't eat you first, you big fat pot of helium.
Sheldon Flender: You, you, you're all missing the point, the point is I can give pleasure many times a day.
Rita: Oh, now, really Flender, what does quantity got to do with it?
Sheldon Flender: Quantity, quantity affects quality.
David Shayne: Says who?
Sheldon Flender: Karl Marx.
Rita: Oh, so now we're talking economics.
Sheldon Flender: Sex is economics.