"Mud": I'm in hell. Shoot me.
Grocery Checker: Can I see your ID? You gotta be 19 to buy this stuff.
Zach: No problem.
Grocery Checker: You were born in 1963?
Grocery Checker: And that would make you?
Grocery Checker: Wrong. It's 1994. That would make you 31.
Trish: Wrong! If he was born in 1963, and he's 21, then it's 1984! Uh.
"Mud": Dad! Just because I'm smart doesn't mean I can't act stupid.
Zach: If Mud's guilty I am too.
Gaby: Me too! I'm smart enough to act stupid.
Trish: Yeah and I'm stupid too! Well... you know what I mean.
Dennis Van Welker: You know, back in the '60s when we said we wanted to change society, maybe we should've been more specific.
Gaby: Guys can be geeks, but it's different for girls. I'm gonna wind up wearing a hairnet and serving Jell-o in the cafeteria.
"Mud": That won't happen, because a lot of girls start out... lumpy. But you'll get thinner, and then you'll start to grow... chests, and then you'll be going out with guys who hang me up by my underwear.
"Mud": Gaby, when does your mom leave for the islands?
Gaby: Just as soon as she puts me on the bus to Camp Slenderella.
Gaby: Celery sticks and rice cakes... prison food.
Trish: I'll mail you a Twinkie.
Zach: You know, if you were wearing a skirt right now, I'd be in heaven.