Rudy Zolteck: That's it, I'm leaving the country. I'm moving to New Mexico.
Spike: Look, you berzerko Barbie doll, when you mess with Spike, you mess with death.
Becky O'Shea: You can talk the talk but can you walk the walk?
Spike: Try me.
Becky O'Shea: I will.
Spike: Let's go.
Becky O'Shea: Right now.
Jake Berman: Somebody call 911.
Jake Berman: My mom says the pads you gave me weren't enough.
Johnny Vennaro: You can't pitch to Johnny! I'm Johnny.
Rudy Zolteck: Ahh! It's a mom.
Mike Hammersmith: Every night before he goes to bed, I massage his hamstrings with evaporated milk.
Sean Murphy: What's the matter, four eyes? Want your mama.
Jake Berman: Don't be talkin' about my mama.
Danny O'Shea: Hey, I got an idea. How about we go put some mud tires on the go cart?
Becky O'Shea: Nah. I don't want to.
Danny O'Shea: Alright, forget the tires. How about we go camping in the woods! Make moose sounds?
Becky O'Shea: Nah.
Danny O'Shea: Alright, forget the moose sounds.
Junior Floyd: That's right Spike! The Icebox is going to defrost you.
Kevin O'Shea: Put a fork in them they're done, baby.
Junior Floyd: Ew, that's disgusting! It looks like they're trying to swallow each other's heads.
Spike: Is Spike mistaken, but aren't you a girl?
Becky O'Shea: Gee, good eye.
Spike: Spike don't play with girls.
Hanon: There goes my shot at the Pros. I gonna have to be a senator.
Spike: No mercy.
Becky O'Shea: No ball.
Priscilla: Hey Uncle Dan! Guess what? I got the whole headlock thing on tape. Here, wanna see?
Jake Berman: Don't be talkin' bout my momma.
Steve Emtman: Just remember, football is 80% mental and 40% physical.
Spike: Your mine, Pom Pom.
Nubie: You always run the ball! Why can't I run the ball?
Hanon: Because you're slow, and no-one likes you.
