The One With the Baby on the Bus - S2-E6
Joey: Ducks is heads, because ducks have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?
Chandler: You have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance!
The One After the Superbowl, part 2 - S2-E13
Chandler: Stick a fork in me, I'm done.
Phoebe: Stick a fork what?
Chandler: You know, like when you're cooking a steak.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't eat meat.
Chandler: Well how do you tell when vegetables are done?
Phoebe: Well you just, you know, you eat them and you can tell.
Chandler: Okay, then eat me, I'm done.
The One with All the Poker - S1-E18
Rachel: You guys, guess what guess what guess what?
Chandler: What, the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending trident?
The One With The Prom Video - S2-E14
[After Chandler's just mocked Monica for being fat in an old home movie.]
Monica: Shut up, the camera adds 10 pounds!
Chandler: So how many cameras are actually on you?
The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate - S1-E1
Rachel: Well maybe I don't need your money! Wait, wait, I said maybe!
The One Where Ross Got High - S6-E9
Rachel: You guys, it was bananas, cream, and beef! I just cannot believe that you ate that so that I wouldn't feel bad.
Monica: Actually, I didn't eat mine. It's still in the bathroom.
Joey: No, it isn't. I ate that.
Judy: And we left ours in Monica's bedroom.
Joey: No. Got it, [nods to Jack] and got yours, too.
The One In Barbados, part 1 - S9-E23
Mike: I love you.
Phoebe: I love you more.
Mike: Not possible.
The One Where Ross Can't Flirt - S5-E19
Ross: By the way, if it makes you feel any better, I happen to like 8 year-old boys.
Rachel Green: Oh my God, I'm Kip.
Joey Tribianni: You're not Kip.
Rachel Green: Do you even know who Kip is?
Joey Tribianni: Who cares? You're Rachel. Who's Kip?
Chandler Bing: Kip was my old roommate.
Joey Tribianni: Oh, THAT poor bastard.
Phoebe: And then we can teach them to sing and we'll be like the Von Trapp family. Although without the Nazis - no, that sounds kinda dull.
The One with the Monkey - S1-E10
Ross: His name's Marcel. My friend Bethel rescued him from a lab.
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent want to name their child Bethel?
Answer: The statements that she's contradicting (that it is common, it happens to every guy, and it's not a big deal), are the things that a woman commonly says to a man who is suffering from erectile difficulty, typically to assuage his bruised ego. However, most men do not believe that these statements are true, as evidenced by Chandler's outburst. He's so caught up in the proof that women are lying about it that he gives himself away.
Rooster of Doom