Friends (1994)

The One With the Baby on the Bus - S2-E6

Joey: Ducks is heads, because ducks have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?

The One With The Jam - S3-E3

Chandler: You have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance!

The One After the Superbowl, part 2 - S2-E13

Chandler: Stick a fork in me, I'm done.
Phoebe: Stick a fork what?
Chandler: You know, like when you're cooking a steak.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't eat meat.
Chandler: Well how do you tell when vegetables are done?
Phoebe: Well you just, you know, you eat them and you can tell.
Chandler: Okay, then eat me, I'm done.

The One with All the Poker - S1-E18

Rachel: You guys, guess what guess what guess what?
Chandler: What, the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending trident?

Monica: That key was for emergencies.
Phoebe: We were out of Doritos.

The One With The Prom Video - S2-E14

[After Chandler's just mocked Monica for being fat in an old home movie.]
Monica: Shut up, the camera adds 10 pounds!
Chandler: So how many cameras are actually on you?

The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate - S1-E1

Rachel: Well maybe I don't need your money! Wait, wait, I said maybe!

Monica: I need you at the rehearsal dinner at 1800 hours.
Phoebe: Okay, what time is that?
Monica: You don't know military time?
Phoebe: I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.

Brad ★

The One with All the Poker - S1-E18

Rachel: Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive.
Phoebe: Ha, haha.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.

The One Where Ross Got High - S6-E9

Rachel: You guys, it was bananas, cream, and beef! I just cannot believe that you ate that so that I wouldn't feel bad.
Monica: Actually, I didn't eat mine. It's still in the bathroom.
Joey: No, it isn't. I ate that.
Judy: And we left ours in Monica's bedroom.
Joey: No. Got it, [nods to Jack] and got yours, too.

Super Grover ★

The One Where Ross Got High - S6-E9

[After eating Rachel's English trifle-Shepherd's pie combo.]
Ross: It tastes like feet!
Joey: I like it!
Ross: Are you kidding?
Joey: What's not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, good.

Super Grover ★

The One In Barbados, part 1 - S9-E23

Mike: I love you.
Phoebe: I love you more.
Mike: Not possible.

The One Where Heckles Dies - S2-E3

Rachel: Hey, Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
Chandler: Neat. I'm gonna die alone!
Rachel: Okay, you win.

Joey: Who says wine has to cost more than milk?

Brad ★

The One Where Ross Can't Flirt - S5-E19

Ross: By the way, if it makes you feel any better, I happen to like 8 year-old boys.

Jon Sandys ★

The One At The Beach - S3-E25

Rachel: Guys, I'm here to tell you that hats are back.
Phoebe: And this time, they've all ganged up to form one giant super-hat!

The One with All the Poker - S1-E18

Rachel: So basically you get your ya-yas from taking money from all of your friends?
Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less, so.

Rachel Green: Oh my God, I'm Kip.
Joey Tribianni: You're not Kip.
Rachel Green: Do you even know who Kip is?
Joey Tribianni: Who cares? You're Rachel. Who's Kip?
Chandler Bing: Kip was my old roommate.
Joey Tribianni: Oh, THAT poor bastard.

The Last One (1) - S10-E19

Phoebe: And then we can teach them to sing and we'll be like the Von Trapp family. Although without the Nazis - no, that sounds kinda dull.

The One with the Monkey - S1-E10

Ross: His name's Marcel. My friend Bethel rescued him from a lab.
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent want to name their child Bethel?