Friends (1994)

Kathy: So, what did you do today?
Chandler: Well, I had an appointment to get my hair cut...
Kathy: Oh, it looks great!
Chandler: ...and then it got cancelled.

[Joey spells "Pleh" on the ground with sticks.]
Monica: What's "Pleh"?
Joey: That's "Help" spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air.
Monica: Huh. What's "Doofus" spelled backwards?

Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
[Everyone stares at him.]
Chandler: Did I just say that out loud?

Rachel: You idiot!
Chandler: I'm sure you're right, but why?

Joey: How you doin'?

Chandler: If I were a guy, and...did I just say IF I were a guy?

Joey: You don't know what it's like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Chandler: I don't know what that's like? Up until I was 25, I thought the only response to "I love you" was "Oh, crap."

Monica: That key was for emergencies.
Phoebe: We were out of Doritos.

Monica: I need you at the rehearsal dinner at 1800 hours.
Phoebe: Okay, what time is that?
Monica: You don't know military time?
Phoebe: I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.

Brad ★

Joey: Who says wine has to cost more than milk?

Brad ★

Rachel Green: Oh my God, I'm Kip.
Joey Tribianni: You're not Kip.
Rachel Green: Do you even know who Kip is?
Joey Tribianni: Who cares? You're Rachel. Who's Kip?
Chandler Bing: Kip was my old roommate.
Joey Tribianni: Oh, THAT poor bastard.