Richard Clark: Victoria, could you give me a ride home? I seem to have misplaced my car.
Victoria Chapell: Oh, don't worry about it. All the teachers loose their car on their first day.
Edwina "Eddie" Franklin: You realise your son got a D in English?
Rae Jones: What's that got to do with him playing ball?
Edwina "Eddie" Franklin: A lot, but your first question should have been, "Why did he get a D in English?" You need to start paying attention to him in school or you're going to be watching him in court instead of on the court.
Garrett Lawton: I make it a point to know a little bit about everything.
Grace: You've never worked a day in your life. How can you be exhausted?
Tommy: I know, but now I'm even worse. I don't know what I'm doing. I just, I, I just feel like... I don't know what I feel. I don't. I don't feel anything. Except lost.
Jay Leno: I may look stupid, but I'm Italian. I know how to find information.
Allan Hopper: How can you take this loser's word? You can't believe him.
Teddy Peppers: I'll take his word over yours. It's been my experience, more often than not, that a loser has more honor than a winner.
Jack Tramonte: OK Whitman's records. Lived with his mother until about six months ago. Had one serious relationship with an Inga... Gunther who once tried to assassinate the rock temptress... stevie nicks.
Denise Waverly: Maybe I put too much of myself into my songs.
Joan Stupid: Note to self: must buy hand held tape recorder. Then I will no longer be speaking into the garage door opener.