Carol: I wish I could be gay again.
Roy Martin: You can't believe her. Look at the hair, the clothes, the constant cheerfulness.
Cindy Brady: You can't take my mommy.
Marcia Brady: Cindy's right! Take Jan.
Mike Brady: A gift is only a good thing when the giver has given thought to that gift. When the gift the giver gives gives grief, then that gift should give the givee regrets.
Peter Brady: Dad, I think I hit him in the head with these. I'm sorry, Mr. Phillips.
Mike Brady: Peter, drumsticks are not toys.
Peter Brady: Oh, they're not drumsticks, Dad. They're weapons.
Mike Brady: Well, weapons are not toys either, Peter.
Jan Brady: His name is George.
Marcia Brady: George what?
Jan Brady: George, uhhh Tropicana.
Carol Brady: What a nice name. Is he Cuban?
Jan Brady: No I mean... Glass. George Glass.
Marcia Brady: That's funny. I've never heard of a George Glass at our school.
Jan Brady: That's because he's a transfer student. He came in the last week of school. He's really good looking and he thinks I'm super cool.
Marcia Brady: Sure, Jan.
Mike Brady: Roy, I have something I'd like to discuss with you.
Roy: Is it about where I shop?
Mike Brady: No, but now that you mention it, I have that same suit in brown and green.
Roy: I know. You're wearing it.
Mike Brady: Ah. So I am.
Marcia: He even wrote something in my yearbook in French!"Menage A Trois." I bet that means "You're the most."
