Jack: What do I want to be when I grow up? Alive.
Louis: You know what your problem is, Victor? You have Exactly Disease.
Victor: What's that?
Louis: It's when your mouth smells exactly like your butt.
Principal McGee: I'm Mr. McGee. I've heard so much about you, Jack.
Jack: Hi, Mr. Magoo.
Principal McGee: McGee.
Principal McGee: Yes.
Brian: You know I was just thinking about the first time you ever rode a bike. Remember that?
Jack: Oh yeah.
Brian: You were so determined to ride. You kept wiping out and nearly took out a couple of the neighbors. It took a couple days until you finally got it, and look at you now! I mean, you're riding like a pro.
Jack: Hey guys, I brought a friend, okay? This is Mr. Woodruff.
Eddie: Are you ten, too?
Lawrence Woodruff: Uh, well if you ask my wife. No I'm afraid I'm just a regular, garden-variety old fart.
Dolores: Since when is being bad, bad?