Quotes from Rip Torn movies and TV shows

Peter La Fleur: Are you sure that this is completely necessary?
Patches O'Houlihan: Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?
Peter La Fleur: Probably not.
Patches O'Houlihan: No, but I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste.

Patches O'Houlihan: It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to fuck a doorknob out there!

Patches O'Houlihan: Holy hell, son, you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop.

Patches O'Houlihan: Those men and that muff-diver believe in you.

Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

Patches O'Houlihan: If you're going to become true dodgeballers, then you've got to learn the five Ds of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge.

Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball.

Patches O'Houlihan: Come on! I get better runs in my shorts!

More Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story quotes

Arthur: Your fly is undone.
Larry: Oh, thanks.
Arthur: Just doing my job.
Larry: It's your job to look at my crotch?
Arthur: I consider it one of my perks.

Arthur: I speak fluent bullshit.

Arthur: You finally got to do a sketch with the great Carol Burnett.
Larry: It wasn't a sketch. It was a massive spastic fuck-up.
Arthur: Tomayto, tomahto.

Stevie Grant: I had sex with a lesbian once. Best piece of ass I ever had.
Arthur: You're supposed to have sex with two lesbians, that's the point.

Arthur: You'll have to forgive Hank. His heart's in the right place but he keeps his brain in a box at home.

Larry: We sat in the car and we talked.
Arthur: What'd you talk about Larry, about the distinguishing marks around your dick? How else would she know?

More The Larry Sanders Show quotes

Zed: J! Let's put it on!
J: Put on what?
Zed: The last suit you'll ever wear!

Movie Nut
More Men in Black quotes

Henry Miller: Could you loan me five francs to take a taxi to St. Lazare? Now, you know Mona. If I'm not there to meet the boat train, she's liable to turn right around and go back.

More Tropic of Cancer quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.