AC Craney: People don't want heart Dick, they want wins.
Coach Don Haskins: We do not back down here, ever.
Jackie Moon: Fuck you Clarence! Spumoni.
Matt: Would you like a falafel with that?
Dan Dresden: You should've stayed with Street Breed, Kurt! You could've had 5 million dollars.
Kurt: Talk is cheap, Dresden.
Tonya Harding: There's no such thing as truth. It's bullshit. Everyone has their own truth, and life just does whatever the fuck it wants.
Adonis Johnson: I wanna rewrite history.
Mary Anne Creed: Don't pretend this is about your father.
Boots: We don't stop playing because we get old, We get old because we stop playing.
Steff: You're not God, Nickerson. You're just a typing teacher.
Jane Aubrey: You ever gotten your heart broken?
Billy Chapel: Yeah. When we lost the pennant in '87.
Terry Silver: A man can't stand, he can't fight.
Boyfriend: Stay away from her.
Jake Taylor: Suck my dick.
Morris Buttermaker: Is that a baggy full of bacon?
Mike Engelberg: I'm on Atkins.
George Knox: You're Roger's mom?
Maggie Nelson: Nope.
George Knox: Aunt? Grandma?
Maggie Nelson: No, we're not related. This is a short-term foster care facility, I run it. Roger is a ward of the state.
George Knox: I see. So Roger, he's got a wild imagination? Always coming up with stories?
Maggie Nelson: No actually, he's very grounded. Truth is most kids who are taken away from their parents by the court system, have a good handle on reality.
Patrick 'Madman' Kelly: Honey, will you put the kids to bed?
Madman's wife: Why can't we hire a maid?
Patrick 'Madman' Kelly: Why did I ever get married?
Dad: Refund? Refund? Are you crazy! Refund? Refund? Refund?
Football Announcer: Our next defeat is scheduled for next Friday, 8 o'clock.
Anton: Man and woman together make flower. Douglas, you are stem. Katya, you are petal. Together, we make flower.
Fan 1: What about last season?
Fan 2: What about it?
Fan 1: They were rubbish. They were fucking rubbish.
Fan 2: They weren't that bad.
Fan 1: They were fucking rubbish last year. And they were fucking rubbish the year before. And I don't care if they are top of the League, they'll be fucking rubbish this year, too. And next year. And the year after that. I'm not joking.
Fan 2: I don't know why you come, Frank. Honest I don't.
Fan 1: Well, you live in hope, don't you?