Tanner Boyle: Jews, Spics, Ni**ers and a Wop that throws airballs.
Tracey Reynolds: Calvin, I think you should stick to basketball. You know why? You can't rap.
Popov: We're Russians! We demand you take us to the Russian imbecile.
Natalya: It's "Embassy," imbecile.
Dutch Schnell: Skip the facts, just gimme the details.
Ed: I gotta ask this question, or I wouldn't be doing my job. Would you care to comment on the rumor that you, uh, arranged for an automobile to be purchased for Neon Bodeaux?
Coach Bell: You know [sighs]. You know, Ed, you've just gotta get your mind out of the gutter. You know, you just gotta to start thinking straight. I mean, it's right there in front of you. For christsake, it wasn't an automobile. I mean, it was a fully loaded Lexus.
Eddie Felson: Do you smell that?
Vincent Lauria: What, smoke?
Carmen: No, Money.
Harold: Is it true that with your new mechanical arm you can shift gears in less than a twentieth of a second? Would you care to comment on that?
Frankenstein: No.
Harold: How do you feel about going into the race with a navigator you've never met?
Grace Pander: You'll love Annie. She's a red-hot sexpot.
Frankenstein: She'd better be a red-hot navigator.
Chick Gandil: You go back to Boston and turn seventy grand at the drop of a hat? I find that hard to believe.
Sport Sullivan: You say you can find seven men on the best club that ever took the field willin' to throw the World Series? I find that hard to believe.
Chick Gandil: You never played for Charlie Comiskey.
Marcee Tidwell: I'm sorry, I'm just a little pregnant here.
Darcy: He said you're a hard man. Just how hard are you, Mr. Jones?
David Sloan: Um... hard enough.
Jack Eliot: We're not athletes, we're baseball players.
Vince Boudreau: If a man builds a thousand bridges and sucks one dick, they don't call him a bridge-builder... they call him a cocksucker.
Sean Dawkins: I'll get the... um, um, um... the cheeseburger Maxi Meal.
Gordie Boggs: ...and the Brittany bare-ass buffet.
Coach Boone: Welcome to my life, Yoast.
Billy Bob: It's a strip club, man. I'm here to work.
Tenley: You're thinking about kissing me, aren't you?
Ryan: No.
Tenley: Well, now that I've said that, you're thinking about it.
Ryan: No, I'm thinking that's what you're thinking.
Tenley: No, I'm thinking that I could swim the length and back underwater.
Ryan: Five bucks says you can't.
Tenley: You got it.
Hector: You Sandro's kid too? How come I never heard about you?
Diana Guzman: I don't know. I'm his pride and joy.
Sidney Deane: Can anybody step in for this guy? Anybody? For Mr. Motherfucking March of Dimes?
Jimmy Flaherty: Prison won't be so bad. I can became a born-again Christian. And that'll be good. Because nobody wants a born-again Christian as their bitch.