Charlie Tweeder: Say I'm stupid and I'm about to get hit in the nuts.
Billy Bob: That's funny.
Charlie Tweeder: Ain't it funny? That's what I mean. See they need to change the name of the show to America's funniest shots in the nuts.
Mox: In America, we have laws. Laws against killing, laws against stealing. And it is just accepted that as a member of American society, you will live by these laws. In West Canaan, Texas, there is another society which has it's own laws. Football is a way of life.
Mox: Playing football at West Canaan may have been the opportunity of your lifetime, but I don't want your life.
Charlie Tweeder: What is up with Carrie Ann Baker?
Billy Bob: Darcy's friend?
Charlie Tweeder: Oh my God! She's got this look. Like, I just fell out of the I'm-gonna-suck-your-dick tree and hit every branch on the way down.