Frankie Stevens: You know, you say that one more time I will punch you in the nose.
Mac Thompkins: Been a while since I fought a woman.
Jake La Motta: Who's an animal? Your mother's an animal, ya son of a bitch.
Coach Rig: You go out there, you tear their fucking heads off and you shit down their necks! Let us pray.
Feng: Ladies and Gentlemen. Athletes. I bid you Toodles.
Australian POW: This is the end, mates. No one knows you're here... It's best if you just resign to your fate.
Marvel: Fuck you.
Molly McGrath: Fuck you what?
Marvel: Fuck you... Coach McGrath.
Molly McGrath: Better.
Ralph Walker: Father Hibbert.
Father George Hibbert: What is it Mr. Walker?
Ralph Walker: Producing a miracle is possible?
Father George Hibbert: Like flying to the moon is possible, but it's never going to happen.
Referee #1: Ain't no rules says a dog can't play basketball.
Coach: This is a joke, I mean dogs don't play basketball!
Chaney: What's the matter, afraid your team might get beat by a dog?
Coaches: Put him in.
Reggie: I see buckets of dead relatives! Extra crispy! Extra crispy.
Mitchell Kane: Are you happy with your deal with Sultan?
Johnny Winsor: Happy? I'd sooner be turked by a syphilitic bear.
Mitchell Kane: T-turked? Turked? What is turked?
Johnny Winsor: Rectally relieved.
Mel: And try to keep it under a billion, it's all I've got...on me.
Hope: Hey - Yo. Which one of you guys want to buy me a drink?
Cute Guy at Bar: Laughs.
Hope: That's me.
Cute Guy at Bar: That's you?
Hope: Yep.
Cute Guy at Bar: You look nice.
Hope: I still, like, hardly ever get my period. So you don't gotta worry about knocking me up. You could fuck me all raw and shit.
Cute Guy at Bar: Laughs Wow. So, if we buy you a drink.
Hope: Will I let you double team me? Absolutely.
Cute Guy at Bar: Could you just leave us alone?
Aash: My wife loves it when I have to take a cab home because I'm too intoxicated to drive.
Guru Pitka: If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your uncle jack off an elephant?
Drew 'Bundini' Brown: Now I'm Jewish and he's Muslim, and because of that he tells me I need to give up certain things, like pork and white women... I can give up the Pork, but the white women? God Damn, how the hell do you do that?
Tower Control: 8-6-7-2-4-1-Queen, move it! Or you're going to be the hood ornament on a 737.
Football Announcer: Our next defeat is scheduled for next Friday, 8 o'clock.
Brooke Taylor: Grant Taylor, I just want you to know that you've made a team.
Grant Taylor: What team?
Brooke Taylor: The daddy team.
Jean Roqua: It's on you, always has been, always will be.