[Jealous of Beckett's relationship with Demming, Castle has created a Nikki Heat character based on the robbery detective.]
Alexis: I do have one note, though. This new character... The, uh, robbery detective?
Castle: Schlemming? What about him?
Alexis: Well, it seems like he kinda... Came up out of nowhere.
Castle: Yeah, well, I can't argue with that.
Alexis: He's coming off a bit like a doofus.
Castle: [Happy] You think?
Alexis: I think you should lose him.
Castle: [Striking the passages out] If only it was this easy.
Castle: Oh, man, I love this place! When Alexis was little, we used to come here every Sunday. We would run around for hours pretending like we were on safari in Africa, or looking for dinosaurs in China!
Beckett: You know Castle, sometimes I forget that you have such a capacity for pure innocence in your life.
Castle: Yeah, plus it was a great place to pick up chicks.
Beckett: And then you open your mouth and you ruin it.
Esposito: How much trouble can he be?
Beckett: Trust me, once he finds out that he has to work this case without me, he's gonna get bored, and he's gonna move on.
Esposito: He found our victim's school without you.
Beckett: Yeah, but that was easy, he doesn't have access to financials, to phone records, to street cam footage, I mean how far is he gonna get?
Ryan: You know what would really suck? If Castle solved this case before we did.
Beckett: And that is not possible!
Ryan: Yeah, but what if he did?
Beckett: Then we'd never hear the end of it!
Esposito: Ah, nooooo, you would never hear the end of it. You're the one that has to go home to that guy.
Castle: Fine, I'll go! Eh, Montreal is a short flight, I'll be there and back in a
couple of hours.
Beckett: No! Not after everything we've been through, you're not going alone!
Alexis: She's right, and you can't go by yourself. I'll go with you!
Castle: Yes...yes...she'll go with me!
Beckett: We have no idea what's out there. No idea who's out there, that's too risky.
Castle: It's Canada, how risky could it be? And need I remind you I'm a grown man, I don't need to ask your permission, that being said, please! please! please can I, can I go?
Beckett: OK, fine, but only because I know you're not going to do anything stupid if she's with you. [To Alexis.] Don't let him do anything stupid.
Esposito: So... Tell me...how can your victim look like Nelson Blakely, when he supposedly died 10 years ago?
Castle: Yeah, weird, isn't it?
Esposito: Yeah...weird. Fake deaths, a car in the water, don't you think now's a good time to tell us what the hell's goin' on?!
Beckett: I'm sorry Javy, it's classified.
Esposito: I was Special Forces... I used to eat classified for breakfast, and yet writer boy can know?! Ok, I'll be over there with Harbor Patrol trying to figure out how to get your unit out of the drink! [Turns away, then turns back.] I'm glad you're ok. [Turns and walks away.]
Beckett: [To Esposito.] Thank you!
Esposito: [While walking away] Mmm hmm.
Beckett: Don't you have a book coming out today, or something?
Castle: Yeah, so?
Beckett: So, you are watching me do paperwork, it's creepy! Did you have somewhere else to be?
Castle: I like it here.
Beckett: Oh my gosh, I get it. You're hiding. Your book is coming out today, and you're hiding!
Castle: No, hiding would be building a fortress out of my comforter and then downing a fifth of scotch, but apparently that's considered unhealthy.
Beckett: I thought that you don't care what people think?
Castle: I don't...much.
Lanie: This is a 36D Sultura.
Beckett: Ooh, that's high-end.
Lanie: Definitely. One of these could run you 200, 250.
Esposito: 250 dollars, for a bra?
Lanie: Oh, but it's okay to spend that on a pair of sneakers, right?
Esposito: A pair of sneakers is practical. Okay? They can support your, um...
Castle: [Shaking his head at Espoosito.] Eject.
Lawyer: Mr. Castle, be advised, if you get injured following Detective Beckett to research your next novel, you cannot sue the city. If you get shot, you cannot sue the city. If you get killed...
Castle: My lifeless remains cannot sue the city?
Lawyer: Your heirs, Mr. Castle.
Beckett: Do I have to wait for him to sign, or can I shoot him now? [Then mouthing, "No? OK."]
Lawyer: Mr. Castle, these waivers are serious business, perhaps you'd feel more comfortable by referring the matter to your attorney?
Castle: What, are you kidding? He'd never let me sign these! But fortunately it's his job to get me out of trouble, and not to prevent me from getting into it.
Castle: [To Beckett] See? Everyone thinks about it.
Montgomery: Everybody thinks about what?
Castle: What they would do if they won the lottery.
Montgomery: Big ass boat, 60 footer, monster spinnaker hanging off the bow, two deep sea rods, hanging off the stern.
Beckett: OK, while you guys are fantasizing about the size of your rods, I'm going to go and interrogate our suspect.
Esposito: Bro... What was that?
Castle: What was what?
Ryan: Your girlfriend just uttered a sarcastic remark about your ex-wife, and all you're gonna say is, "What was what?"
Castle: Oh, that was nothing.
Esposito: Spit it out!
Ryan: Tell us!
Castle: Ahh, OK, uh, as you know, Beckett is, staying at the loft while her place is getting fumigated, Alexis is home sick as well, and then Meredith showed up and she said she wanted to stay in the loft...
Esposito: And you said no. [Pauses for reply.] Tell me you said no. [Look of concern on Castle's face.] Wowwww!
Esposito: Letting an ex stay with you when you're with someone else... That's like throwing gasoline on fireworks!
Beckett: Did you seriously stay up staring at this Scrabble board all night instead of going to bed?
Castle: With these five remaining tiles, I have to craft a word scoring 9 points... And I turn defeat, into victory.
Alexis: Oh, my gosh, did you really beat dad at Scrabble?
Castle: I concede nothing! Except that I need more coffee.
Martha: That is quite an accomplishment young lady... Nobody beats him, ever!
Beckett: Oh yeah, he's mentioned that... Repeatedly.
Martha: Ahhh, how the mighty have fallen!
Castle: Richard Castle, one word short... I cannot allow this to be my epitaph.
[Beckett and Alexis slyly fist-bump each other.]
Castle: I saw that!
Beckett: Castle, if we were getting married, would you want to know about all the guys that I've slept with?
Castle: All... ?
Beckett: Seriously? You sign women's chests at book readings, you cannot be shocked that I'm not a virgin.
Castle: Ahh, it's just the word, "all" suggests... A lot. How many we talkin', exactly?
Beckett: Are you really asking for my number?
Castle: You show me yours, I'll show you mine.
Beckett: [With a sly smile on her face.] Men. You all wanna know, but you don't wanna know.