Lenny: If you ask me, Muhammad Ali in his prime was much better than anti-lock brakes.
Carl: Yeah, but what about Johnny Mathis vs. Diet Pepsi?
Moe: Oh, I cannot listen to this again.
Phaneron
24th Mar 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
24th Mar 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
Homer: Welcome to the Internet, my friend. How can I help you?
Comic Book Guy: I'm interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud Internet connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T-1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my token ring ethernet LAN configuration?
[The two look at each other awkwardly for a few seconds.]
Homer: Can I have some money now?
20th Mar 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
Groundskeeper Willie: Yeah, I bought your mutt, and I 'ate him. I 'ate his little face. I 'ate his guts. And I 'ate the way he's always barking, so I gave him to the church.
Bart: Oh, I see. You hate him, so you gave him to the church.
Groundskeeper Willie: Aye, I also 'ate the mess he left on me rug.
20th Mar 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
20th Mar 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
7th Feb 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
[Two bandits have stolen the grease Homer is collecting to sell]
Homer: Hey, hey, you're taking our grease!
Grease Bandit #1: It's our grease now. [Takes away Homer's shovel and hits him over the head with it.]
Homer: Daaah!
Grease Bandit #2: We run the grease racket in this town.
Homer: Hey, that's my shovel.
Grease Bandit #1: We also run the shovel racket.
7th Feb 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
Lisa's Date with Density - S8-E7
Mr. Largo: Miss Simpson, do you find something funny about the word "tromboner?"
7th Feb 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
Homer: Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, could you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I'll only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausage in that syrup Homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not talking to me, and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uh, Dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room!
Lisa: Why don't you just eat him, Dad?
Homer: I don't need any serving suggestions from you, you barbecue-wrecking know-nothing know-it-all.
27th Jan 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
The Springfield Files - S8-E10
Leonard Nimoy: The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is no.
27th Jan 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
Marge vs. the Monorail - S4-E12
Leonard Nimoy: I'd say this vessel could do at least warp five.
Mayor Quimby: And let me say, may the Force be with you.
Leonard Nimoy: Do you even know who I am?
Mayor Quimby: I think I do. Weren't you one of the Little Rascals?
21st Jan 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
21st Jan 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore - S15-E12
Groundskeeper Willie: Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots. Or Welshmen and Scots. Or Japanese and Scots. Or Scots and other Scots. Damn Scots, they ruined Scotland!
Skinner: You Scots sure are a contentious people.
Groundskeeper Willie: You just made an enemy for life.
9th Jan 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
Treehouse of Horror XIII - S14-E1
Zombie Billy the Kid: Now I'd like you to meet the Hole in the Ground gang: Frank and Jesse James. The Sundance Kid.
Comic Book Guy: What happened to Butch Cassidy?
Zombie Sundance Kid: "What happened to Butch Cassidy?" We're not joined at the hip, you know.
Zombie Billy the Kid: And the most evil German of all time: Kaiser Wilhelm.
[Everyone is confused]
Zombie Frank James: He ain't a cowboy!
Zombie Kaiser Wilhelm: Sure I am. Yippee. Whippee. Whippee.
Zombie Frank James: Okay, he's in.
9th Jan 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
9th Jan 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
Treehouse of Horror XIII - S14-E1
Zombie Billy the Kid: [to Homer] Play us some piani. [Homer begins playing "Fur Elise" and Billy the Kid fires his guns in response] That's piano, I said piani! [Homer begins playing some honky tonk].
1st Jan 2018
The Simpsons (1989)
The Wettest Stories Ever Told - S17-E18
Flanders: We Puritans have no place for drunkenness, or colorful clothes, or dreaming or poetry. So if you write a sonnet, keep it under your bonnet. Oh no! That was a poem. [Flogs himself].
22nd Dec 2017
The Simpsons (1989)
Springfield Connection - S6-E23
[Hans Moleman is about to be executed and Homer has eaten his last meal.]
Reverend Lovejoy: Alright Hans, time to go.
Hans Moleman: But he ate my last meal.
Reverend Lovejoy: If that's the worst thing that happens to you today, consider yourself lucky.
Hans Moleman: Are you really allowed to execute people in a local jail?
Reverend Lovejoy: From this point on, no talking.
18th Dec 2017
The Simpsons (1989)
When You Dish Upon a Star - S10-E5
Trivia: Another thing "The Simpsons" predicted: Towards the end of this episode, a sign outside of a film studio shows the 20th Century Fox logo with "A Division of Walt Disney Co" written under it. Nineteen years after this episode aired, Disney purchased many assets from 20th/21st Century Fox, including "The Simpsons."
9th Dec 2017
The Simpsons (1989)
12th Nov 2016
The Simpsons (1989)
Trivia: Adding to the list of jokes on this show that ended up becoming true in real life, this episode made reference to a Donald Trump presidency a full 15 years before Trump first announced his candidacy for President. The episode also accurately predicted that a Trump presidency would lead to an economic recession.
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