Phaneron

Lisa the Simpson - S9-E17

Announcer: We now return to "When Buildings Collapse" on "Non-Stop Fox."
[Bart and Homer cheer.]
Bart: Hey Lis', wanna join us?
Homer: Room for one more.
Bart: We're watching the TV.
Narrator: Man has always loved his buildings. But what happens when the buildings say "No more!"?

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Lisa on Ice - S6-E8

Jimbo: Nice PJ's, Simpson. Did your mommy buy 'em for ya?
Bart: Of course she did. Who else would have?
Jimbo: Alright, Simpson, you win this round!

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Grade School Confidential - S8-E19

Bart: You are never gonna guess what I saw at Martin's party after you guys left. You know that playhouse? Well, I...
Principal Skinner: Good gravy!
Cafeteria worker: Oh, thank you. It's just brown and water.

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Tree House of Horror X - S11-E4

Professor Frink: In episode BF12, you were battling barbarians while riding a winged Appaloosa. but in the very next scene, my dear, you're clearly atop a winged Arabian. Please to explain it.
Lucy Lawless: Ah, yeah, well, whenever you notice something like that, a wizard did it.
Professor Frink: I see, all right, yes, but in episode AG4...
Lucy Lawless: Wizard!
Professor Frink: Ah, for glavin' out loud!

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Tree House of Horror IX - S10-E4

Chief Wiggum: Homer Simpson, you're under arrest for the murders of Moe Szyslak and Apu Nahasa... pasa... uh, just Moe. Just Moe.

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Bart vs. Australia - S6-E16

Homer: [Looking at Uruguay on a globe] Heh heh heh heh! Look at this country: U R Gay.

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Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore - S15-E12

Apu: Attention American bar devils: it's our anniversary. Free drinks for everyone.
Homer: That's great! I'm honored to drink to Apu and, uh, Apulina. You know, Marge and I have an anniversary coming up.
Apu: I have given Manjula many gifts, including a bouquet of flowers, diamond earrings, and we're going to see Paris... Hilton, in Paris... Texas, on our way to Paris... France.

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Margical History Tour - S15-E11

Homer: And now, the star of our show: my son, Mozart. He makes Bach turn back, Haydn go into hidin', and, well, those are the only ones there have been so far.

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HOMR - S12-E9

Homer: Hey Flanders, headin' for church? Well, I thought I could save you a little time.
Flanders: Ooh, found a new shortcut?
Homer: Better. I was working on a flat-tax proposal and I accidentally proved there's no god.

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Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder - S11-E6

Lenny: Hey Homer, that's four strikes in a row. You've got a perfect game goin'.
Homer: Really?
Carl: Careful what you say, Lenny. You'll jinx it.
Lenny: Alright, sorry. Miss. Miss! Sorry, I was callin' the waitress. Uh, this split you sold me is makin' me choke.
Homer: Lenny!
Lenny: What? I paid $7.10 for this split.
Carl: Will you at least call it a banana split, you dumb-wad!?
Lenny: Hey, spare me your gutter mouth!

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Dude, Where's My Ranch? - S14-E18

The Simpsons Family: ♪ Just hear those sleigh bells jingling...
Blue-haired Lawyer: Cease and desist! You are forbidden to perform that song without paying royalties to the copyright owner.
Marge: Nobody owns Christmas carols. They belong to everyone, like grapes at the grocery store.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Not true, but you are welcome to sing the many public domain carols, such as "O Tannenbaum," "Good King Wenceslas," "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring."
Homer: Those suck! They're worse than nothing! I could write way better songs.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Go ahead, but don't use A-flat or G-natural, those notes are owned by Disney.
Homer: [Moans.]
Blue-haired Lawyer: That's A-flat.
Homer: [Moans in a higher pitch.]
Blue-haired Lawyer: That's better.

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Dude, Where's My Ranch? - S14-E18

Trivia: At the beginning of this episode, Homer writes his own Christmas carol after being barred from performing traditional carols because of copyright issues. Around seven years after this episode aired, the musical artist Usher was ironically accused of plagiarizing one of the tunes Homer was working on with his song "OMG."

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The Last Temptation of Krust - S9-E15

Hank WIlliams, Jr.: ♪Can you name the truck with four-wheel drive? Smells like a steak and seats thirty-five. Canyonero. Canyonero. Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down. It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown. Canyonero. Canyonero.
Krusty: Hey hey!
Announcer: The Federal Highway Commission has ruled the Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.
Hank Williams, Jr.: ♪Twelve yards long, two lanes wide, 65 tons of American pride. Canyonero. Canyonero. Top of the line in utility sports. Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts. Canyonero. Canyonero. She blinds everybody with her super high beams. She's a squirrel-squashin', deer-smackin', drivin' machine. Canyonero. Canyonero. Ya! Ya Canyonero! Whoa Canyonero! Whoa!

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Fear of Flying - S6-E11

Homer: Wait a minute. There's something bothering me about this place. I know, this lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap, ladies!
Lesbian: What was her problem?

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Homer vs. Dignity - S12-E5

Mr. Burns: You're so much more fun than Smithers. Why, he doesn't know the meaning of the word "gay."

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Bart Carny - S9-E12

Nelson: You wrecked Hitler's car! What did he ever do to you?

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Bart the Mother - S10-E3

Librarian: You've checked this bible out every weekend for the last nine years. Wouldn't it be easier to just buy one?
Reverend Lovejoy: Perhaps, on a librarian's salary.

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Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming - S7-E9

Chief Wiggum: Hey, where is Sideshow Bob and that guy who, uh, eats people and takes their faces?
Guy Who Eats People and Takes Their Faces: I'm right here, Chief.
Chief WIggum: Oh. Then where's Sideshow Bob?
Prisoner: Eh, he ran off.
Chief Wiggum: Oh great! Well if anyone asks, uh, I beat him to death. Okay?
Officer Lou: Right.

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Cape Feare - S5-E2

Chief Wiggum: Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me Chief Piggum. [Gallery laughs] Oh, now I get it. Ah ha ha, that's good.
Selma: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon.
Blue-haired Lawyer: How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now? [A few people raise their hands] Be honest. [Everyone raises their hands, including Patty]
Patty: Ah, she's always leaving the toilet seat up.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Robert, if released would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?
Sideshow Bob: Bart Simpson? The spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine-soaked hell-hole.
Parole Board Member #1: Uh, we object to the term "urine-soaked hell-hole" when you could have said "pee-pee-soaked heck-hole."
Sideshow Bob: Cheerfully withdrawn.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Well what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say "Die Bart, Die?"
Sideshow Bob: No, that's German for "The Bart, The."
Parole Board Member #3: No one who speaks German could be an evil man.
Parole Board Member #2: Parole granted.

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Simpson Tide - S9-E19

Drill Sergeant: Attention on deck, Captain Tennille wishes to address you.
Captain Tennille: [Clears throat] I'm a man of few words. Any questions?
Homer: Uh, is the poop deck really what I think it is?

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