15th Jan 2019
The Old Man and the Key - S13-E13
Homer: Here we are: Branson, Missouri.
Male Charles Bronson Lookalike: No, pally. This is Bronson, Missouri.
Lisa: Well how do we get to Branson?
Female Charles Bronson Lookalike: Number 10 bus.
Child Charles Bronson Lookalike: Hey Ma, how 'bout some cookies?
Female Charles Bronson Lookalike: No dice.
Child Charles Bronson Lookalike: This ain't over.
14th Dec 2018
Smithers: Here are several fine young men who I'm sure are gonna go far. Ladies and gentlemen, the Ramones.
Mr. Burns: Ah, these minstrels will soothe my jangled nerves.
Joey Ramone: I'd just like to say this gig sucks!
Johnny Ramone: Hey, up yours Springfield!
[The Ramones perform "Happy Birthday To You" for Mr. Burns.]
CJ Ramone: Go to hell, you old bastard!
Marky Ramone: Hey, I think they liked us!
Mr. Burns: Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: But sir, those aren't...
Mr. Burns: Do as I say!
14th Dec 2018
14th Dec 2018
Grade School Confidential - S8-E19
Principal Skinner: The bake sale to raise money for the car wash has been canceled, due to confusion.
14th Dec 2018
14th Dec 2018
Jay Sherman: Tonight, we review an aging Charles Bronson in "Death Wish 9."
Charles Bronson: [Bedridden in a hospital.] I wish I was dead.
22nd Nov 2018
Hank Scorpio: Good afternoon, gentleman. This is Scorpio. I have the doomsday device. You have 72 hours to deliver the gold, or you face the consequences. And to prove I'm not bluffing, watch this. [Presses the button on a remote control, causing a bridge to collapse.]
U.N. Official #1: Oh my God, the 59th Street bridge.
U.N. Official #2: Maybe it just collapsed on its own.
U.N. Official #1: We can't take that chance.
U.N. Official #2: You always say that. I want to take a chance.
22nd Nov 2018
Homer vs. Patty and Selma - S6-E17
Chief Wiggum: Evening, Simpson. You got a short in your taillight, started blinking when you made that turn.
22nd Nov 2018
Marge vs. the Monorail - S4-E12
Mayor Quimby: Alright, I'm in charge here.
Chief Wiggum: Oh, run along Quimby. I think they're dedicating a phone booth somewhere.
Mayor Quimby: Watch it, you talking tub of donut batter.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, I got pictures of you Quimby.
Mayor Quimby: You don't scare me. That could be anyone's ass.
22nd Nov 2018
Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays - S15-E8
[Bart and Lisa are fighting over the television remote and land on an episode of "King of the Hill"].
Hank Hill: Bobby, I got propane in my urethra.
25th Oct 2018
Smithers: Sir, the actors are here to audition for the part of you.
Mr. Burns: Excellent.
Hannibal Lecter: Excellent. [Snarls].
Mr. Burns: Next.
William Shatner: Ex. Cell. Ent.
Mr. Burns: Next.
Homer: Exactly. Heh heh. D'oh!
Mr. Burns: Next.
Bumblebee Man: ¡Excelente!
Señor Spielbergo: Es muy bueno.
Mr. Burns: Oh, it's hopeless. I'll have to play myself.
25th Oct 2018
Tree House of Horror IV: The Simpson's Halloween Special IV - S5-E5
Demon: So, you like donuts, eh?
Homer: Uh huh.
Demon: Well, have all the donuts in the world. [Laughs maniacally.]
[Homer proceeds to eat all the donuts in the world with little effort.]
Demon: I don't understand it. James Coco went mad in fifteen minutes.
25th Oct 2018
[Marge is trying to purchase a sports cup for Bart.]
Marge: He's going to need, uh, protection.
Clerk: Sure, one helmet coming up.
Marge: I was thinking more like protection for, down there.
Clerk: Oh, why didn't you say so? Knee pads, you got it.
Marge: [Laughs nervously] I'm talking about his personal area.
Clerk: Aha, say no more. I read you loud and clear. The old shoulder pads.
Marge: Look, I want a cup.
Clerk: Cup? Could you spell that?
Marge: C-U-P. I wanna C-U... oh my god!
25th Oct 2018
Principal Skinner: Mother's gone too far. She's put a cardboard box over her half of the television. We rented "Man Without a Face." I didn't even know he had a problem.
25th Oct 2018
Tree House of Horror XI - S12-E1
Homer: Did you see that? I did the deed. Open up.
St. Peter: Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't looking.
Homer: Hey, I thought you guys could see everything.
St. Peter: No, you're thinking of Santa Claus.
Homer: Well I'll be damned.
St. Peter: I'm afraid so, yes. [Drops Homer into Hell.]
25th Oct 2018
The Springfield Files - S8-E10
Kent Brockman: Tonight on eyewitness news: a man who's been in a coma for 23 years wakes up.
Coma patient: Do Sonny and Cher still have that stupid show?
Kent Brockman: No, she won an Oscar and he's a congressman.
Coma patient: Good night! [Flatlines].
25th Oct 2018
Mayor Quimby: Welcome fans of America's favorite pastime: baseball?
11th Oct 2018
The Old Man and the Lisa - S8-E21
[Mr. Burns is grocery shopping for the first time and sees Krusty getting a box of Krusty O's]
Mr. Burns: Could you tell me where I might find the Burns O's?
Krusty: Sorry Pops, they don't put nobodies on cereal boxes.
Mr. Burns: [Looking at a box of Count Chocula] Well, I suppose this one looks a bit like me.
11th Oct 2018
11th Oct 2018
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious - S8-E13
Young Rainier Wolfcastle: [singing a commercial jingle] Mein bratwurst has a first name. It's F-R-I-T-Z. Mein bratwurst has a second name. It's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N.